Achieving Career Success In A More Sustainable Way Ep 54

This is a recording from a live audio session I held on LinkedIn recently. 

I’m joined by two of my clients, Katie Rodwell & Genevieve Northcote, for an insightful discussion about ”Achieving Career Success In a More Sustainable Way." 

We go beyond the traditional work/life balance conversation as we explore the impact of mindset on workplace experiences and stress levels. 

You’ll discover practical strategies for adopting a lighter, more sustainable approach to work, and gain some valuable self-care practices.

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Transcript

0:31

Hello, and welcome back to the podcast. I've just got off a live session that I held on LinkedIn a few moments ago, and I'm recording this intro while it's all still fresh in my mind. And what you're about to listen to is the recording from the LinkedIn session. The, I wasn't able to record it on LinkedIn. I had to use long story short. I had to use some other audio software to do that. So the sound might be. Not as good but I'm sure you'll still get something from the conversation that we had. So on this on this like live audio event that we did, it was, it was around creating or achieving career success in a more sustainable way. And I was joined by two of my clients Genevieve and Katie, where they were talking about their experience of being able to. Work in a more sustainable way, create a healthier relationship with work and embrace this concept that we call working light. So inside this session, we talk about beliefs and how they impact our experience at work. So many of us when it comes to work and wanting to create changes. With our experience at work. So we want to work to feel easier. We want to have more of a balance at work. We want to be able to create a healthier balance with work. We often focus on what do I need to do? What are all the actions I need to take to create that change? And what I guide you to in this session is to understand it's less about what you need to do. And much more about what you're thinking. So we talk a lot about how our beliefs really drive our experience at work and how often they're the driving factor behind our stress, our frustration, our burnout, our overwhelm, whatever it might be, and how to make changes in that space. And everything flows when we can make a change at that level. We also discuss feminine masculine dynamics. How these play out in a work context and also our impact our experience at home as well and why it's important to make that shift out of masculine energy and into more of our feminine energy and what a difference that makes. And then lastly, we talk about just daily practices for self care, what it looks like on a daily basis, a weekly basis to take care of ourselves, to ensure that we're showing up in, in this sort of lighter way, we're feeling more grounded, more present and we can approach the challenges at work in a, in a better way. These, these things don't take us out of the game. So I think you'll find this is like just a really insightful discussion about how to create a more sustainable world. Relationship with work. And it doesn't mean you need to lose your ambition. It doesn't mean you have to dull down your goals or desires. There's some really practical things that we can do. So have a listen to this episode. Can't wait to hear your thoughts. So please do share it with me. And if you're interested in going deeper into this, Then check out working with me and my one on one program. There'll be a link at the bottom of this episode, somewhere in the description where you can learn more about working with me to kind of go deeper into all of this and apply it into your life. Hello, welcome everybody. Lovely to see your names and faces and really looking forward to having this conversation tonight and talking about to be sharing this space with you tonight alongside my guest speakers Genevieve and Katie who will be I'll be introducing in just a moment. So we'll just wait just like maybe one more minute as we wait for other people to come on. Normally at this point I'd be asking you to just drop in the chat and let me know where you're tuning in from, but for There's actually no chat given that it's this LinkedIn audio event. So what we're going to be doing is really encouraging you if you have questions or kind of comments as we go through, you can put yourself, you can kind of like raise your hand essentially to speak. And so we can really just have this as like a lovely open conversation together. It just has this great casual feel. I think the fact that it's audio, you might be tuning in from. Cooking dinner, or putting your kids to bed, or on your way home. So I just think it's got a nice casual feel to it, given that it's audio. So, we're gonna be jumping in, in just a moment. And Getting started. So, for me, I just feel like this is such an important topic. It's obviously something that I love to talk about because it's my work. I'm really passionate about helping professional women work in a much lighter way and I think it means, you know, to work in a lighter way to create more sustainability in the way that we are working towards career goals does not mean we have to go up those goals. It doesn't mean that we Have to give up our ambition and I also don't want to Minimize the challenges that we can often experience at work or the pressures that we can feel at work because those are very real But it's about knowing in order to create the sustainability to to experience work in a lighter way it's about knowing how to support our nervous system and Creating mental resilience to be able to respond to things at work differently And I think what happens is it means that we Can take our power back when we understand these things we can take our power back So we're no longer being like this little boat That's bobbing out in the ocean kind of being pushed this way with the tide and like pulled that way with the wind Based on what's happening externally in our work life There's a real sense of empowerment, I think, that comes with knowing how to support ourselves to navigate these challenges at work in a really different way, in a way that really supports us. So if we're new, if we haven't met yet I'm Annabelle, Annabelle Mattson, and I'm based in Christchurch and I work with clients. around New Zealand and other parts of the world. Thanks to zoom, the power of zoom. And I work in one on one coaching. I also have an intimate group coaching program called elevate the mastermind designed specifically for professional women. And I'll be sharing a little bit more about my private coaching right at the end of our session today. If you're kind of interested in looking at getting some support. I also have a podcast and there are lots of episodes on the podcast that align with what we're going to be talking about tonight in our discussion. I think there's about over 50 episodes on there now. So you might like to go and check out the podcast and have a listen to any of those episodes. That will really just kind of continue the conversation. The learning and the discussion for you outside of today. Okay. So tonight's session is going to be great for you if maybe you've come into the beginning of this year feeling like you wanted work to be different and now you're kind of reaching halfway through the year and you've noticed that Maybe some of the same old stuff has showed up for you at work. You're, you're finding that balance or that distinction between work and home life is a bit of a challenge for you. Maybe you're finding work quite heavy, quite hard. You want to learn how to maintain your ambition and, still achieve the things that you want in your career, but not have that mean that it has to come at the expense of, of your wellbeing. So I've got two clients here with me who are going to be part of this discussion with me Genevieve and Katie, and they know this work really well. We've worked together for a while now they've both achieved success individually in their careers and made some beautiful shifts in the space of being able to. Achieve and work in a more sustainable way. So I'm super excited to have them both here with me and for them to be sharing their perspective. And the things that have worked well for them as well. So I just want to give them a chance to briefly introduce themselves before we get going. So maybe Katie, if you want to just introduce yourself and say hello and then we'll move on to Eve. Yeah, sure. It's lovely to be here this evening and thank you, Inabelle, for the opportunity to share, I guess, my perspective of how the work I've done with you over the last probably three or four years has really helped. Yeah, I guess. It's impacted my career, but it's also impacted my whole life. So just a little bit about me. I'm Katie Rodwell. I live in Amberley with my husband. We've got a little block out here. I grew up on a sheep and Kaikoura. I've got my brother and a twin sister who are both really important people in my life and obviously my amazing parents. And I work for Rabobank and. Christchurch, I'm based in the Christchurch office and I work in the sustainability team. And, yeah, as Annabelle said, I've been working with Annabelle for the last three or four years and have had yeah, some just massive shifts both professionally and, and personally in the work that we've done. So, looking forward to exploring that this evening with you all. Thank you, Katie. So good to have you here. And over to you, Genevieve. Kia ora everyone. Good evening. I'm Genevieve, also roll with Eve. I'm joining you this evening from my little office in our house at Mt. Lyford. So I'm farming with my husband here in North Canterbury for sheep, beef and deer operation. And like Katie, I also work for Rabobank and I'm Look after the learning development and leadership for our client facing teams across New Zealand. So, I also use the Christchurch office a bit, but mostly use the airport for zooming around the place. And I was connected with Annabelle about a year ago, thanks to Katie. And have really seen huge, a huge shift in my career trajectory. I think just overall happiness and presence in life. Her work is amazing, so really delighted to be here this evening and be able to share what I've learnt with you all. Thanks for having me. Thanks Eve. Okay, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna go through kind of three segments that I think really make up a key part of being able to achieve career success in a more sustainable way and I'm going to chat a little bit about it briefly and then Hand it over to Katie and Eve for for them to discuss with you as well about how they've applied this Into their life so that we can get really Katie practical and grounded in our conversation. So I also want to encourage you, as I said in the beginning if you've got something to share or a question as we go through, there's no chat on here. But what you can do is you can You can click something to, to raise like your, essentially your little virtual arm to say, Hey, I'm here and I'd like to share something. And then we'll unmute you. It's great to be able to have these conversations together. I'm having conversations with people all day about this stuff, but I know there's not always places, places that we can come into to discuss this stuff. So let's create it tonight. And let's dive in. So the first area that I want to talk to you about when it comes to achieving career success in a more sustainable way is our belief in thought life. So a really fundamental concept to understand is what you think leads to how you feel and how you feel leads to how you act. And that's going to create your results and your experience in life. So if you've got a pen handy, this can be quite helpful to write down. And this is the formula that I'm going to be talking through. Beliefs create feelings. Feelings create actions. Actions create results. So the conversation around work life balance, creating a healthier relationship with work, sort of conversations along those lines, it often falls short of real change because most of what it's focused on is the action or behavior level. Meaning, what are all the things that I need to do to create a change in my work life? And we think that, right? Don't we? So when there's something that we want to change, something that isn't the way we want it to be, we often go into like a problem solving mode. And we look at what are, what are all the things I need to do to change this? But focusing just on the doing part is only dealing with one part of the equation of change. Okay? Thanks. So just trying to change your experience at work at the behavior level alone is only going to get you so far. So you can see from this formula that I'm discussing here, there's so much more that comes before action or behavior that's driving our experience. And that's all to do with our beliefs. It's driven by our beliefs. So whatever is happening in your mind. Whatever thoughts that you're thinking, whatever dominant beliefs you're holding, whether you're aware of them or not, that is what's having the biggest impact on your results in life and also what you're experiencing at work. So, we've got to go beyond just talking about new actions that we need to take, and it's, it actually, we've got to go all the way back to look at what are the underlying beliefs that we're holding. So if you think about that belief formula, what Beliefs that we hold will create feelings in our body, those feelings will lead us to take certain actions and those actions will, will create a result. So really what we're talking about here is the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and our own capabilities. This is what is driving so much of our experience at work. And now, when I speak to, like, a lot of women in my work, especially when they're first introduced to my work, they might think, well, I don't lack confidence. I don't have a lack of self belief because I've been able to achieve all of these things. I'm really driven. And all of that is true. What we've actually got to look at is, is the second layer of thinking. So I want you to get really curious about this. If there's an experience that you're having at work that isn't serving you, that's stressing you out in some way, that's maybe making work in some area feel hard or heavy, we've got to go back to our formula because our experience can always be traced back to some kind of a belief. Okay. Thanks. And as I said, we may need to dig a little deeper and go into that second layer of thinking. You might not hear self doubt as a conscious story in your mind, which I find is the case for most sort of high achieving, ambitious women, but if I'm feeling stressed, overworked, Overwhelmed or pressured or anything like that. If I know that feelings are always created from a belief, what is the belief that's driving that feeling that I'm having? And so much of it actually is based in a feeling of not feeling as though we're enough or that we're capable. So when we address things at this level, it unlocks a whole new flow, a whole new way of working, and just so much positive change in our lives as well. So, and that's because we're really getting to the core, the origin point that is driving the experiences that we're having at work, and that's our beliefs. So, the good news is, When there's something that's not right at work that you don't like you don't always need to change jobs. Sometimes the answer is to change jobs, but it's not always about that. It's about changing the way we interact with what we're doing. And a lot of that is to do with our beliefs. So it's, it's not about needing to wait for a colleague to move on or, or some specific challenge to end. We can actually influence so much of what we're experiencing at work, at work by changing our own thoughts and our own beliefs about ourselves. This is what shifts so much for us externally. So what I want to do is Perhaps ask you first Eve, like what has been your experience of I guess tell us a little bit about your discovery of the link between beliefs and the burnout and stress that you were experiencing at work. I'd love to hear your perspective on that. I was burnt out. Till about six months after. I probably well and truly burnt out. So I guess my journey of understanding what was happening in my body really started probably early last year and I essentially got to the point where my body just wasn't working. My body was carrying a whole extra weight. I felt really puffy and I was still eating really well and doing high intensity exercise, but I wasn't able to move any weight. I had really sore tummies and trouble going to the toilet for several days at a time and just felt really low energy. Overall, and so I ended up initially working with a health coach, again, thanks to Katie, she referred me to her sister Sarah Beckers, who is amazing and I helped with her, worked with her, and she helped me to understand what was going on in my body, so essentially the first trigger for me was understanding that my liver, my kidneys weren't working properly, my pancreas was struggling I had IBS essentially, body was just not working, So I did a heap of really good work with her to help get all the good bugs and things back into my stomach and get my digestive system working again. I had to do a full detox and reboot, essentially, of the plumbing. But I got all that working again and it was really interesting when I first started working with Sarah. She did like a big deep dive into understanding more about me and she asked me how, how am I with stress? Am I stressed much? I said, oh no, I'm fine with stress. Like, I sleep lots. I sleep like nine hours a night. I'm fine. Yeah, no, no problem. But I, as I went through, I started to really understand that. I wasn't fine. I was really stressed. I didn't realize I was stressed and I was sleeping like nine hours a night because my body was struggling so much to process process all the, I guess the toxins and things in my body. It just wasn't functioning properly. So that was pretty a big wake up call and a bit of a fright really when you're, you know, late 20s and your body's not working properly and you're being pretty unkind to it with stress. So that's when I linked in with you, Annabelle down this pathway of understanding what, what was driving, what was the behavior I was I guess taking in my role in life that was driving that stress and then starting to go back and work out what are the beliefs and behind that. But as you say, I'm probably pretty typical of if anyone who knows me on this call would know that I'm super outgoing, confident, really bubbly pretty high functioning, super busy with lots of things. I also get really excited and And so it was really interested, interesting to learn about how that excitement was also pretty much causing the same stress response in my body. So it's been about learning how to manage stress and how to learn, manage, how to learn how to manage excitement. But working with Annabelle have learned I guess what have been the beliefs and behind it for me. And at the time I was in a media facing. And with that came quite a lot of pressure. It was a busy, full on role. And it was a challenging role for me. There was parts of it that weren't natural for me. Like data and technical details that aren't naturally what spins my wheels. But I think the belief underpinning it all was that I felt a huge responsibility for myself and my employer to, I guess, be credible. And I needed to prove myself. To the people in industry who might be hearing the messages I was producing. And I think that, that, yeah, essentially that. That desire and need to prove myself and have credibility, it kind of got pretty overwhelming. And that's sort of, I, and I just didn't even realise it was all subconscious. So it wasn't until I'd actually moved out of the role and started doing all this work, really started to fully understand probably the subconscious psychology. Behind how my body was responding. So yeah, sorry. It's a bit of a a long story to where I am today. Thank you for sharing all that Eve. And I remember it coming as a bit of a surprise for you when you uncovered the belief that was driving a lot of the stress that you were experiencing, like it was, it was a surprise because it was a bit more subconscious for you. Yeah, absolutely. I was really surprised by what the belief was and I was really upset. I was really angry with myself that I had such a stupid belief, like, I was like, where has this come from? Like, why are you telling this? Why am I subconsciously telling this to me? I was essentially telling myself that I'm a stupid young woman who doesn't know anything. And probably starting off in the meat industry did not help that. Our first job out of uni. But it's like, oh, it's, it's so untrue, but that's, you know. What was driving me and the crazy life and agendas I was running. Yeah. I was hustling big time. It's so important, isn't it? Making those connections between the outer, like, the choices that we're making and the sort of external experience that we're having and knowing that all of that Flows from a belief and when we uncover what that core belief is There's just so there's just this enormous wave of like momentum that's created because suddenly we're actually no longer Being driven by this in this unconscious way. We get to choose It's a new belief that we're holding about ourselves and that really changes how we feel at work. And it changes the way we show up and the choices that we make and therefore creates a different experience. So it's all flows, all flows from a belief. So thank you for sharing your experience around that. My pleasure. Katie, I might ask you about your experience around the link between beliefs, burnout, and stress at work. And perhaps How strengthening self belief has really helped you at work. Yeah, of course. Not too much of a dissimilar journey to, to Eve, as it happens. Mine was probably just a few years earlier. And I guess that's how I connected when we, when I moved to Ribobank and I sort of shared my story with her and reasonably similar in the fact that it was. Also holding on to weight. I was getting sick. I had glandular fever and I battled that for years. I remember one time I was with my sister and she said to me, I can't out supplement stress. So she's a holistic health practitioner. And she said to me that there's nothing I can do. Like, I just can't out supplement stress, Katie. Like you need to make some changes in the way that you're working because she sort of noticed that I was like always up early. Like I was sort of stressy energy that getting to work early, eating breakfast at my desk, like just always hustling. And I'm sure many in the call can relate to that in some shape or form. But for me, that was kind of when I had a penny dropping moment or a light bulb moment that said, okay, something not right here. My body was really clearly telling me then. So that was kind of the experience of burnout. And I was just always really, I wasn't anxious before, but I just, I could feel cortisol pumping through my body before I was even there. And it wasn't until I sort of looked back on that retrospectively that I, that I realized that. But yeah, so that was kind of my experience in the burnout space and how that sort of showed up as from a behavior perspective, I suppose was always feeling like I needed to do more, prove myself. You know, when was the, What was the next job? What was the next promotion? What was the next leadership course that I could be doing? And I loved those things. Like I spent, you know, the first eight years of my career moving up the ladder and I really enjoyed that experience, but it was at the cost of my health, I suppose. And it wasn't until, you know, I had those kinds of physical symptoms and my sister made that comment that I was like, well, I need to make some changes here. And The work that I did with Annabelle was really unpicking, like, what was, what were those belief systems that sat under the need to be hustling and the need to be doing more, and for me there was probably one main one was, like, I just didn't think I was good enough, I was like, I need to be doing more to prove myself, and to demonstrate that, like, I did know what I was doing, because I've, I've always struggled with imposter syndrome, because you'd move into a new job and you'd sort of think, When is someone going to kind of look behind the curtain and see that I actually don't know what I'm doing? So, that for me was like the biggest belief that I was telling myself that I wasn't good enough. And so that's why I kind of felt like I had to keep doing more to prove myself really. So, Yeah, that's probably my story in a bit of a nutshell, Unabelle. And I think so many people can relate to what you've shared as well, that imposter syndrome, the feeling we need to prove, prove ourselves. But I think often, like, as we've been talking about this in the segment, it's easier to spot it in our feelings and maybe in some of the behaviors. That we're, we're like engaging in. So like as you were talking about, like the eating breakfast at the desk, like not taking proper breaks. It's kind of, it's about being curious when we look at some of these behaviors and choices that we kind of know if we were to sit with them, like, it kind of doesn't serve me that well, like doing these things. But as you say, like, what is the belief that's sitting behind that? What's driving that? When we can ask ourselves that question. It's yeah, everything changes it. It's so powerful. So what are, what are beliefs that you work with now, Katie, that various beliefs. We've worked with many in the time that we've been working together, but what are some sort of standout beliefs for you that have been really supportive? I think, yeah, it's hard because there's so many different ones that I use in different perspectives and depending on kind of work I'm doing or in my personal life or, you know, how, how it shows up. But one of the ones that I probably use is Let's describe it. I think just to give some context probably first is that one of the things that Annabel said to me was that because I, I come across similar to Eve, she said, you know, like I come across as a confident person and, and I, I am, I don't feel like I am not, but there's a difference between across as confident and then how you actually feel. So like, as an example, you know, I could stand up and do a presentation to a group of people and People would be like, oh yeah, she, you know, she seems reasonably confident. But how did, how did I personally feel about myself doing that? I was like, beforehand I would have been completely super nervous, nervous doing it, judging myself afterwards, like all of this kind of behavioural stuff that. That demonstrated that I didn't feel like I was good enough and I, I had, you know, I didn't have very good self worth. So that's, I probably just, I just wanted to give that example as something that how that actually showed up and, and a working example in terms of like that lack of belief. So now the belief and an example like that is like, I am, I know enough to be here. My experience is worth sharing like something as simple as that. So good. Okay. I love that Katie some others that I can rattle off in my brain at the moment that can be really helpful is who I am and what I offer is enough maybe as simple as I'm capable and I know enough right now, or I'm more than enough for the work I'm here to do, or I'm exactly who my team needs me to be. My skills and experience are in demand. People value my perspective and my expertise. If you just think about what might change, just even at the feeling level, if we told ourselves these things every day, if we let these thoughts really consciously sort of circulate through our mind, you can even feel maybe, as I was saying those things, how that begins to change how you feel in your body, and then when you feel different, you take different actions. And it's going to create a different result for you. So hopefully that link is, is now feeling quite clear that it all starts from the beliefs that we're holding. So I want to move to another sort of, sort of aspect of this that I want to talk about tonight. And it's about the difference between feminine and masculine energy and being able to harness more of our feminine energy and how we work. So. We all have feminine masculine energy. It's not a gender specific thing. So regardless of gender, we have both. So in the context of a working environment, if you're not familiar with the distinction between these two things, masculine energy is, it's really that sort of goal oriented energy. So we're in this energy, masculine energy, when we're focused on getting things done. So it's about achievement. It's about productivity. It's about. Moving things forward, driving things forward. Feminine energy is more receptive. It's more collaborative. It's got an open feeling to it. It focuses on flow and nurturing relationships, nurturing ourselves. It's about bringing people together. And it's also gotten energy of like really sitting back and trusting. So we don't want To only be in our masculine or only be in our feminine. We want a healthy mix of both of them. But we, we, the issue is, is when we are in an, and I'll speak really more to being too much in our masculine, because that's typically where our challenges lie when it comes to, you know, creating a more sustainable relationship with work. Being too much in our masculine energy is, is where the problems lie. And It's, it's not a problem to be in our masculine energy to, to utilize that energy. It's a, it's a really powerful energy to be in. You know, when I've got something I need to do, something I need to drive forward and to make happen, I've got content to create for a program or some kind of deadline I'm working towards. I utilize that masculine energy to work towards that goal and that focus. But here's the issue for most of us. It's that we're not coming out of that energy. And we're not designed to be in our masculine energy 24 seven, but for most of us, that's where we are operating from. And we'll know that we're in our masculine energy too much. When we are working long hours, we've kind of got that low grade hustle. That's always present. As Katie was talking about, we're multitasking. We're always Focusing on what's next, what needs to be done. Maybe we find it hard to relax, we come home and we're physically at home, but we're thinking about work. We might find it hard to shut off our, our mind. It's difficult to relax and, and let go of control in various aspects of our life, maybe we feel quite sort of armored up. So that's kind of what it looks like when we're in too much masculine energy. What it looks like when we're harnessing our feminine energy at work, it means that we're sitting in and we're operating from deep trust. So trust that we are enough, that we're doing enough, that we know enough, trust that opportunities can come to us more easily. Without us having to push or to prove ourselves all the time. So being in our human energy looks like being able to sit back more and to allow things to come to us. It looks like being able to set good boundaries. It's about collaboration. It's about partnership. It creates so much more flow in our lives. It's, it's the key to creating more balance and I think a really huge part of creating sustainable success. So what I often get clients to do, and this can be a great thing to do just in this moment while we're here together, is actually to just you might even close your eyes if it's safe for you to do that, to just take a really deep breath in and out. And roll your shoulders back and then sit back in your chair if you're in one. And to me, that's what feminine energy feels like. It feels like a relaxed body. It feels like a relaxed nervous system. It feels open, there's a receptivity to it. It feels good to be in this energy. So as I said, both energies have their place at work, but it's, it's the too much time spent in our masculine doing energy that will create the stress and burnout for us. So it's about knowing how, how, and when to drop into our feminine energy. And that's a really big part of being able to take off our armor at the end of the day and create that clearer distinction between work and home life. Because home life functions a lot better when we can come out of the masculine doing from the day and drop into our feminine energy. It's much easier to engage with people at home Relationships feel more connected. We can be more present, more in our bodies when we know how to make that switch and come into our feminine when we get home. There's a couple of podcast episodes that I've got that really relate to this topic if you're interested. So, my podcast is called Steep Your Soul. And episode 50, decompressing at the end of the day, would be really helpful to help you kind of shift and make that switch into feminine energy. And also there's another episode called episode 23. Working light and creating more work life balance and I touch a lot on the feminine energy in there So if you want to go check that out on the podcast, there might be some stuff to help you there but I want to open up to Eve and Katie and get their perspective on on some of this. How do you think Eve embracing feminine energy at work has like changed your experience at work? Like what does that feel like? What does that look like for you in practice? How do you consciously bring more of that energy into your work? It's amazing. It feels so good. I think previously I was really in my masculine energy, and so you're just hustle, hustle, hustle. And I think in a way I was like, it's almost a coping mechanism as you, I felt numb. So. Was not as in tune to the needs and emotions of others. Probably just wasn't experiencing life around me as fully as I could, because I was just in like coping mode in a way. And I think since doing this work and recognizing that I was in my masculine energy, I was probably at work if something happened. I might react more strongly or get really angry or frustrated or, and like that's just a waste of energy essentially. And I'd come home and I might start like a tornado, like, I'd drive for two hours to get home and come home and if dinner wasn't, it wasn't, my husband's a farmer and he's, he's like works like, and if there's nothing out for dinner, I'm just like, right, gotta go, like, cook dinner, do washing, like, all the stuff that needs to happen. I'm sure the mums on the call probably really, really know what this feels like more so than I do. But it was just, yeah, really in that, that masculine energy. And it wasn't helpful or healthy at work or at home. But once I started to learn about my beliefs and how to switch from masculine to feminine, that was really big for me. So again, like that breath work piece, journaling, meditation, yoga just helps me stay in my feminine. And I'm super conscious now when I switch back to my masculine that I need to snap out of it. Like I've I've got quite a lot happening at work at the moment. And so today was several moments I felt myself go into masculine energy. So I'll just take a few moments, five good breaths just to sit back, relax, okay? And I think how it benefits me. My effectiveness at work is I'm way more creative, I can think more laterally, if something doesn't go right and someone calls me with a problem, you just feel really calm in how you respond. It's like, okay, sweet, you're just like, okay, I'll just listen and take that on and you can kind of just absorb more, like let it more wash over you, you've got more capacity to think quite rationally. Less reactively, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I, I'm super conscious and I can just feel it in my whole body now. You know, like sometimes you get really busy brain at night, you need to wake up in the morning and breathe again just to reset again. So yeah, it's been incredible It's incredible to learn about it and awesome to have the tools now to manage this all the time. And even if it's just like hustle, hustle, hustle, get to the airport or something, just go to the bathroom and breathe or get on the plane and breathe and meditate for a while, just switch back into it. And I think for me, it means my body keeps working. It means I keep digesting. So that's what it's about too. So it's like, if I'm in my masculine hustle, hustle, hustle. You, I don't digest food properly and my body stops doing its natural processes. So I feel it very quickly. Yes, absolutely. And it's like, I think What you said around the feelings in your body is a really good cue, like the body, like we often can spot it at our, like the feeling level first, like the body sensations are always going to be our guide when we're spending too much time in our masculine. It's going to be about how our body feels, that kind of tension in our body, the tightness, raciness, whatever it might be. And it can be, I think there's such a A clear connection between our nervous system and being able to access our feminine energy. So, being able to tend to our nervous system, come out of that fight or flight freeze, whatever it might be, response. A regulated nervous system is how we access it. So I love that you talked about using breath, work, breathing there's so many beautiful tools that we can use in this space to, to, to, you know, take that armor off of, of the masculine and it doesn't have to take long, you know, it's, it's little pockets, little moments in the day where we can, can drop into our body and just kind of release that stress. Super important. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Eve. Katie, I know that when we talked about making this shift into feminine energy, like, one of the things that you were worried about is like, is anything gonna happen? Like, am I gonna be able to still achieve by working from this kind of softer place. That was like a fear that you had that I've created all the success from being in my masculine energy. How am I going to still be able to do that from harnessing my feminine energy? So I'd kind of just love to hear your perspective on that, Katie, around how https: otter. ai It doesn't actually mean you have to sacrifice success. It's Honest and say it's still a massive work on for me. So I have spent 99 percent of my life in my muscular energy, both professionally and personally. And that's really comfortable for me, to be honest. And I feel like it's been really ingrained. What's been affirmed from a success perspective in my career, because I have progressed, like I've had a promotion, or I've had a pay rise, or I've had a new opportunity offered to me, and so I've had this belief over the last, sort of, you know, eight to ten years that when you hustle, you get rewarded for that. And so it's really ingrained that, like, that masculine Way of working, which I mean, before I knew about it just felt like normal work for me was the way that you, you succeed. And so when Annabelle sort of talked about the feminine energy and the masculine energy to me, it felt uncomfortable to be sitting back and, and trusting in the kind of process and letting go of the reins, essentially. And so, I forgot what your question was now, Annabelle, but Just around you realizing, and I think over the course of us working together, and I know that you've shared this publicly as well, that you've seen that opportunities have still come. From you being able to sit there. And so that's been some good evidence, hasn't it? That actually this, this still, this still works. Yeah. And I guess like it took a lot of, I think I talk about it on a podcast I did with you Annabelle, I took it quite, I think for me to be able to practice it, we did it, we did it quite lightly, like I sort of made a game of it to be like, okay, and this meeting, let's just practice the techniques that Annabelle's talked to me about and just see how it flows. So, you know, typically I'd like to go into a meeting and. It talks about sort of having your armour on, but you know, you'd sort of be like arms on the table and you'd want your voice to be heard and the behaviours are kind of like this so that people could sort of see your worth and so instead of doing that I would like physically sit back in my chair, have my Chest open, not feel the need to be talking all the time and putting my point of view, you know, up. So that's sort of what it looked like and so I sort of played with that a bit just to sort of see how it went and did I still feel like I was making the progress that I wanted to or you know, see the results that I was, I'd like to see. And I did, and like, even in the, you know, what Annabelle was just talking about in terms of the experiences, like in the, the first year of working, I had a lot of, I did a lot of work with Annabelle around moving into that feminine space and sitting back and not hustling as much. And I still had proof points of opportunities that came in for me. So I was offered a new job that was better paid and more seniority and this sort of thing. I didn't end up taking it because it didn't feel right for me. But it was a proof point to say that you can still be, And your feminine energy and delivering awesome work and seen as valuable, but not having to have the stress and the hustle and the, yeah, the sort of anxiety that comes with working in that way. So, yeah. And I, I always talk about the fact that it's quite easy for your mind to say, well, I was, you know, it was coincidence that happened or, you know, you were working hard. You know, that's why that opportunity was given to you. But when I practicing being in my feminine energy, I always write, I've got a journal and I always write down proof, you know, things, experiences that happen that affirm that it is safe to be in that energy for me, because I find it quite hard. So as things would happen, I'd be like, I'd write it down so that I could remind myself when my brain says to me, oh, it's only because of X, Y, and Z, you know, you were offered the promotion or you got this opportunity or whatever. I'd write it down so that I could see that being in my feminine energy was actually a safe place for me to be in. Yes. Yeah. And that it works. It still creates results. Yeah. Yeah. It's a real leap of faith, I think, to make this shift because so many of us and absolutely myself included, like this has been, you know, everything that you're both speaking about has been such a huge part of my journey as well. And I think it's a real leap of faith to. Step out of the masculine, which really is our safe space. You know, it's the place that we can, we feel we have the most control. We can control things when we're in that kind of hustling mode. So to step out of it requires a leap of faith to say like, okay, I'm going to give this a go. I'm going to sit back more in my conversations and my meetings and the way that I approach things. I'm going to give myself more space in my life. And let me see how this goes. So I think it does. does require a bit of courage and a bit of faith to be able to make that switch. But you know, as you've both shared pretty soon after doing that, you start to see some pretty good evidence as to why that switch is a good idea. And that, like that practice that you were speaking of, Katie, it's a great idea to collect that evidence and write it down. So that it kind of encourages you to keep going. Okay, so in a moment, I really want to open it up for any questions or any just kind of comments on anything that's kind of, it's coming through tonight. We're really happy to answer anything any questions or just kind of really hear your perspective and create a bit of a discussion around this before we finish up. But perhaps maybe I'd just love to hear from both of you, how do you sort of take care of yourself from a day to day perspective? What? What practices do you use? You know, we can all be really imperfect with that. Myself included. Some days we're really good at doing this and other days, not so much, but what sort of, what works for you on a day to day basis or, or a weekly basis, what helps you. Feel more in your feminine, what helps you take care of your nervous system, what helps you ground, and I guess approach work in, in this lighter way. What does that look like? Maybe Eva, I'll go to you first. Obviously, as you say, there's what does great look like and there's what does reality look like. I think in my minimum, I need to get back to. I've been a bit, being a bit more disciplined around it. I got married recently. I've got terrible post wedding depression, so I'm feeling a bit lost, but I'm in the recovery process now. Yes. So I think the minimum for me has been just breathing every night. So get into bed, have a really nice evening routine, hop into bed. I've got my little diffuser that's has lavender in it, and I read, well, I will. So I'll do ten breaths in and out and then I will often do tapping. So like what are they called, the ESG points, is that right Annabelle? Yeah, it's called Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT, or tapping. There's lots of it on YouTube. EFT, ESJ, I was thinking of Systemicly goals, terminology, waiting for bank bail out, lots of acronyms. So EFT tapping is just releasing all those pressure points in my face. That just really helps, I guess all that tension from looking at a screen and being engaged in conversation, Melt away. And that helps me feel really calm and safe and snuggly at night. And then I like to read a bit of my book and that sets me up for a really good night's sleep which is pee. So I do i'm definitely an eight hour girl I don't need as much sleep as I used to now that my body is working properly But again, I try to get up in the morning and do some yoga. i'm i'm reasonably good at being disciplined about that it just helps to Again, breathe and just move gently and and, and journaling is really helpful in the evenings, too. And I've definitely noticed that I've got away from doing that lately and and it's, I'm not processing a few things at the moment and I need to get back to journaling to help process. Work through a few Like behaviors, like what's the feeling and just trying to understand what is the root problem there. But I just, I think just key is just actually movement and gentle movement is really important. It took me a while to actually just be kind to myself. Like you don't need to be running and doing all this stuff. If you can breathe properly, eat well and do gentle movement, like yoga, Every day or walking that's actually a really good base fitness level and quite a high base fitness level I found and then I just top up top it up with mountain biking and different things so the way if I've got time and if I feel that way inclined and so that's probably yeah my core base Self care but definitely a nice bedtime routine is a really important treat for me. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. Lovely. And I breathed through the day, like I would have breathed today quite a few times. Like I felt tight in my chest. And so, have gone to the kitchen sink, held on to it and breathed, or whilst making a cup of tea, or gone outside and sat on the front step and just breathed for like, yeah. A minute between meetings, just to keep in that space, instead of like, brain just spiralling up to like, the to do list and all the other things that are happening in life, just keeps me really present and grounded. I feel like I'm, when I'm in that Grounded, present space, not always my nervous system working, but I feel like in my work, I'm so much more creative, and I've got way more flow, and things just, yeah, things just feel light and easy. It's great. Yes, so good. Thank you for sharing your personal practices. I think we all find it interesting, I think, hearing what other people use and what sort of part of, of their self care. Katie, I'd love to hear from you, like, what does that look like for you? Yeah, I guess, like, from the perspective of this work in particular, for me, there's three things that I do. One is the, the belief work that we discussed at the beginning of this session. Like, I will write out The beliefs that I'm working with at the moment, like whatever's sort of come up for me. I might have three or four beliefs. I'll just write them out like on a piece of paper and then For the first week or so and then they'll probably, they become sort of a bit more conscious for me So I'll say them in my head and like that for me has been really powerful I didn't like, I mean, I always said this to Annabelle, like I sometimes didn't feel like they were working and There were moments where I didn't really trust the process. I was like, this is stupid. Like why am I saying this? It's not working but the more you do it and the more you, you know, then I then use those kind of Proof points. I wrote them down. The more I was like, well, this actually is really powerful work. So for me Writing out those beliefs whether they're short or long or just one or two of them has been a really powerful Daily practice that I use particularly if I'm going into something that I feel nervous about or I know that I'll be more in my Masculine energy and maybe I need to be using that belief work before Doing that really helps like to soften it and make it feel much lighter making it, yeah, feeling it so sort of heavy and serious and like, you know, like if I was going to do, you know, presentation or I had to, you know, speak to the leadership team or something, I would say to myself, like my deep belief radiates out of me, like I know that I'm good enough. I'd say those things just like over and over my head before I did the meeting or the presentation and it just. It doesn't like sound like it does much, but it really does when you actually practice it. So that's probably the one of the most important things that I do alongside just normal journaling and meditating, which I was probably doing before I worked, you know, did this work, but it's also really complimentary. And then another really great tool is the tapping, which we haven't really talked about this evening, but just, Yeah, really getting clear around like what, if I'm, if I'm noticing myself on that masculine energy, like honing around the office or feeling stressed and all of those kind of symptoms, like, okay, what is it, what's making me feel like that? And then going through that and validating the feelings maybe I'm, why I'm feeling like that and then just changing that belief. So yeah, that's probably the kind of key things that I'd share. Yeah, great. Fantastic. And I think for me personally, I feel like my key practices is how I start the day. And I just think it's that first half an hour massively sets the tone for the rest of the day. And I know when I reach for my phone first thing in the morning, They've actually done studies on this, and like, I don't even need to study, need to know the studies to know this. When you reach for your phone first thing in the morning, you are just going to unconsciously reach for that same kind of stimulation for the rest of the day. And that keeps us in that quite unconscious, quite, like, overly connected, overly sort of activated nervous system kind of state all day, which is really that dominant masculine energy. Okay. So for me, it's about how I start the day. And this was a challenge for me because I had, I've got a almost 17 month old baby. So before I had her, I had like a lot of time to do lots of nice self care, especially being self employed. And not having to head to an office first thing. And so I just kind of want to encourage if anyone's on here who sort of feels like, Oh, I don't have a lot of time to be able to do this. I just want to encourage you to think about how you can make it work. And that's been a big challenge for me since becoming a mum and also having a kid that doesn't sleep very well, who's up a lot in the night and is up early. How I can still, you know, create that time and, you know, make it work. It's really about grounding and checking in with myself first thing in the morning and what that would look like really practically. It's like what Katie and Eva have been talking about around the breath, using my breath. It might be writing out beliefs that I'm working with. So really clear beliefs and, and statements that capture how I want to be feeling and what I want to be creating that are going to support me in my life. It might just be stillness So just sitting in, just sitting in the quiet for, for five minutes or for 10 minutes, you know, we've all got this time somewhere. And it might look different in different seasons of life, like it looked really different when she was a newborn and was like really up all night. And it looks like a little bit more different now that she's a bit older. And I think it's just going to continue to adjust and change as, as she gets bigger as well and as our routine in the morning changes. But I just kind of want to offer that as encouragement. To think about how could you make this work? And I think that that first half an hour of the day is so key because it sets the energetic tone, it lays down the template for the rest of the day. So if we start unconsciously, if we start checking into everyone else's agenda, like what's happening on Instagram, what's happening in our emails, we will then carry that with us into the rest of the day. And it becomes like a runaway train. Sometimes I find, if I do that, It becomes this thing that's like really hard to get on top of for the rest of the day. Like I just feel like it's, it's hard to, to ground and to come back into my body. For the rest of the day. So yeah, for me, it's the beginning of the day. That's, that's really, really key. So we're almost at our kind of completion time, but I would love to sort of open up for discussion for any Q& A that you have. For anything that we've discussed tonight, we'd be more than happy to open up for that. We're recording this, so this is going to go up on my podcast. In the next few days, so you can find that again, the podcast is called Steep Your Soul. And just before we do that, I want to invite you to check out my one on one program. If tonight has sort of resonated with you, if this is work where you're thinking, I'd really love to go deeper into this, that I want to experience more of this in my life then I'd really love to, yeah, invite you to check out what it's like to work with me. I currently have places available in my three or six months. One on one coaching program. There are 12 sessions included either weekly or fortnightly depending on which option you choose. And really this, this work is about helping you embrace this whole idea of working and living lighter so that you can feel more calm, more peaceful, more grounded, even if you are dealing with challenges or difficult people or situations in your life or in your work. What I'll teach you is And this video will really be about helping you advance your career from this sustainable place, a place that really honors your body and your emotional well being. And we do a lot of clearing of old blocks, old thoughts and fears, things that might be holding you back, that perhaps are contributing to some of the Feelings that you're having at work and helping you to shift your thinking. To, to create a new mindset, a new set of beliefs that are going to really help everything feel so much easier. It's a private program, so it's really customized to you and what you need. We focus on work, but it's also about so much more than that. So in our, in our first session together, we really discuss what do you want to see change? It might be at work. It might extend beyond work into your relationships, into your own sense of wellbeing, other areas of your life. And the great thing about this work is that it really does touch every aspect of your life. So you might be coming in to, to work on creating a more healthy, sustainable relationship with work. But what happens is it spills out positively into all areas of your life. So in our first session together, we create a plan to move you from where you are to where you want to be. And each of the sessions in this private program is really, like, a piece of the puzzle, bringing all of that together. And we don't just talk about what you want to see change, or talk about what's happening for you, although that's an important part of it. What I'm really passionate about in my work is to actually show you how to shift this, so we actually get really, really practical. So, And I show you in very grounded ways what to do, what to do on a daily basis, what to do when specific situations show up for you, what you need to do to make that happen, to create those changes that you're really seeking in your life. So you leave this experience with life changing techniques and practices and tools that you'll really probably use for the rest of your life in many ways. So there's private sessions included. You get access to a private client resource library. So this is an online resource library which you have ongoing access to well after one on one sessions have finished. And this is kind of almost like a program in and of itself. There's like a range of resources in there, video teachings, exclusive podcasts, worksheets, meditations, breathwork recordings, all sorts of things. And another great thing, in addition to the private sessions, is you get text and voice note access to me in between our sessions via the app Telegram. So this adds a ton of depth to your program and your support. So if you come up against something really sticky at work and you need some help and we're not meeting again for another week or another fortnight in a session, you just jump on that app and you send me a voice note and then I can come back to you with You know on the spot coaching guidance and support whatever it is that you need and this helps you really move through things more quickly and accelerates your progress. So if you're interested in checking out this work together, I currently have places available. You can find out more. I've just posted something on my profile that has a link to my website and my private program. So you can check that out or just like visit my website annabellematson. com. And yeah, I'd love to open up for Q& A. For any discussion, just anything you want to share about tonight, perhaps maybe there's like an aha for you or something that you're taking away. We would love to hear that. And I also want to encourage you to go and check out the podcast. There's tons of episodes there that can support you with some of the stuff that we've been talking about tonight. That's called steep your soul. And I also have a really great resource on my website called the I am audio. It's a free motivational audio. I've recorded it a number of years ago and it's just, it's been played literally thousands of times. People use it in the morning throughout the day. It's a five minute audio and it will just give you, it's the perfect way to start the day. It will just give you this huge boost of positivity and motivation and energy for the day. It's a great resource. So go and check that out. That's on my website as well. And that's free to download. So you can just, I can't actually remember what you do on here to, I think you like, there's something that you click to move yourself to speaking. I think that's what it is. So if anyone would like to do that. We're here for it. You might have a question or just something that you want to share and maybe while Isabel, we will allow you to speak, here we go. Sorry, I was on mute. Hello! Hi! I don't have anything in particular to share, but I just wanted to say thank you. I think I've had quite a few aha moments, and I couldn't find any paper at the start, but I found an old envelope, and I've scribbled all over the back. Okay, great. I think the masculine feminine energy Really resonated with me and I have never heard of that before. So I'm really looking forward to doing a bit more research. I've learned a lot. So thank you ladies so much for taking the time to share. You're welcome. Thank you for your thoughts. And this will go up again on my podcast if you want to re listen to it. Then we can do that. Okay. Nicole, let me see. You might need to click unmute. Oh, I've lost her. Hang on. Do that again. Let's see if that works this time. Oh, yeah, there we go. Hi, Nicole. Hey. Oh, thanks for showing the way there, Isabel. I was like, I don't know how to speak here. No, I the same thing. Thanks, Heath. But I think the aha for us I think Maeve and I here was that beliefs, you know, just starting with the beliefs, what are they and what, what's, yeah, what are the things that might be holding you back or what are you telling yourself that you don't realize you're telling yourself that's showing up in your feelings and Yes. In action. Thanks heaps for that. You're so, yeah, you're so welcome and that's such a key point to take away is to like focus on the feeling that will guide you back to the belief. It's often hard to spot it first at the belief level or what's really going on at that second layer of thinking. But yeah, the, the feeling will always guide you back. So well done. No, very interesting. Thank you all. Thanks. Anyone else? Maybe Eve, Katie, do you have any final thoughts before we finish up our session today? My final closing point would be that believe in deletes. I didn't for a while. I was like, oh, this is, I thought it all sounded a bit fluffy and eerie theory. But once I started to actually. really deeper and understand what my beliefs were. It was just huge. It released a huge amount probably within me. And I think since I've unlocked that, everything's just sort of fallen into place. And I probably don't have to spend as much time now on beliefs at all. I just had those cool ones which I've carried with me for a long time. Long time. So yeah, my final would be word would be to stick with the concept of beliefs it's not all hocus pocus Love that But nothing in particular I don't think for me in about other than well, I think one thing for me is that You know, if you do end up exploring this work with Annabelle or you look into it in your own way, knowing that this work is, you have to put, you have to practice it, like it's not something that just, you learn about it and you go, okay, everything's solved. Like, like anything, you just have to keep practicing at it. And yeah, and trusting it, just trust, trust yourself, trust the process. And I think that's probably final word. Thanks Katie. And I think just do it all so imperfectly. Like, you know, for, for me, if I was listening, there'll be perfectionism tendencies, wanting to like nail things right out of the gates. And I think if we can just let ourselves be imperfect and know that we're, we're not always going to be in, in I will be the first to say that, and I'm not always in this sort of soft, open, free, feminine energy. You know, I can find myself in that overly dominant masculine energy. I can find myself. Picking up my phone and scrolling first thing in the morning and then go, Oh, I know I'm going to pay for this, you know, so we can we let ourselves be imperfect humans and we don't have to be perfect at this in order to experience the results and to see the changes in our lives. I think it's about doing it with intention and being focused, but not needing to be perfect. Okay. Anyone else? Otherwise we will finish up. Wonderful. Okay. Thank you all for being here. So nice to connect and share this space with you and just have this conversation. It's great to be in spaces where we can just talk openly and honestly about some of these things that can get a bit tucked away. So let's stay in touch. I'm here on LinkedIn. Jump on the podcast, download the IM audio. And yeah, if you're interested in kind of going deeper and getting some more support, then check out the private program. You can also book in for a free call with me on that page, if you want to have a bit of a bit more of a chat through about it and how it can help you as well. Okay, everybody take care and have a great rest of your evening.