Tune into this conversation with my client, Melissa King. She’s sharing about her journey of bringing the calm back to the corporate environment and the tools that have helped her feel lighter and more present at work.
In this episode:
Mel shares her self care practices in her morning routine that help her manage her emotions, and feel more calm throughout the day
She discusses the value of leading with positive intentions each morning through affirmations, beliefs, and make the choice about how she wants to feel
We talk ‘leading with lightness’ and leading a team from a more feminine place
She talks about the power of "leaning back" in conversations and trusting others' contributions instead of always feeling the need to lead
Mel discusses creating calmness at home through slowing down, spending time with family, and honoring rest
She describes the impact of her the work we have done together in the Mastermind + the supportive mastermind community
Links:
Join me for the next round of Elevate The Mastermind. More info here: https://annabellematson.com/mastermind
Head over to my website: https://www.annabellematson.com/
Tune into this conversation with my client, Melissa King. She’s sharing about her journey of bringing the calm back to the corporate environment and the tools that have helped her feel lighter and more present at work.
In this episode:
Mel shares her self care practices in her morning routine that help her manage her emotions, and feel more calm throughout the day
She discusses the value of leading with positive intentions each morning through affirmations, beliefs, and make the choice about how she wants to feel
We talk ‘leading with lightness’ and leading a team from a more feminine place
She talks about the power of "leaning back" in conversations and trusting others' contributions instead of always feeling the need to lead
Mel discusses creating calmness at home through slowing down, spending time with family, and honoring rest
She describes the impact of her the work we have done together in the Mastermind + the supportive mastermind community
Links:
Join me for the next round of Elevate The Mastermind. More info here: https://annabellematson.com/mastermind
Head over to my website: https://www.annabellematson.com/
Hi, it's Annabel Matzin and welcome to the Steep your Soul podcast. Soulful guidance for women who are seeking deeper truth and meaning to their lives. If you're ready to move past what's been holding you back and awaken to your full potential and purpose in life, then let's get started. Hello, and welcome back to the podcast. It's Annabel here. Great to be back with you recording another episode. And in this episode I'm here with another client interview, this time with my lovely client, melissa King, and we're talking about bringing the calm back to corporate, and you might be thinking is that even possible to feel that way? Well, in this episode, mal is going to share some insights and practical tools that have really helped her feel lighter and more present at work. She's a leader of a large team in her current role and just before we met she'd completed a big leadership program but was feeling like there was some pieces missing for her and being able to manage the emotional side of the demands of her work. So in this episode we're discussing a lot of specific techniques that she's used both in her work life and also her home life to feel lighter and more present. So she's sharing practical things about things that she does in her morning to set up her day, the power of being intentional about how you want to feel. She talks about how she processes stress, leaning back more in conversations and finding the joy in the process of achievement rather than just achievement alone. So there's going to be lots of beautiful things for you to pick up and use in your own life and in your work life as well. And if you're looking for some support with this this year of creating a healthier, more sustainable relationship with work and achievement is on your mind this year, I'd love to invite you to check out Elevate, the Mastermind.
Speaker 1:This is my six month intimate group coaching program that Mal has been a part of. In fact, she's about to join for the third time, which is awesome, and we kick off the last day of February and we flow for six beautiful months together, and this is the place for you if you want to learn how to create calm, sustainable success, if you want to advance your career and step into more opportunities. Create more opportunities for yourself, but do it in a way that feels so much easier and lighter on your body and nervous system. So inside the mastermind, we focus a lot on belief, work, changing how we see ourselves so we can shop with more certainty and more self belief. You'll learn the technique of working light. It's a really core concept that we teach in the mastermind how to work in a lighter way so that you can create this next level of success in a way that feels really good to you and to your body. So we meet weekly for six months.
Speaker 1:All of our sessions are recorded. If you can't tune in for all of them live, but they're a beautiful mix each week of teaching and coaching and open Q&A, and the power of the mastermind is not only in my coaching that I offer you, but also in our collective experience. So you'll be joined by a small number of women who are all working through really similar things to you, who come from really similar situations, and it's so powerful to be connected with a small group like this when we're creating change. So that's a little bit about elevate the mastermind. You can click the link below that has all of the details about the program and I'm here if you have any questions about it. So let's get into the episode with Mal. Welcome, mal to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I'm really excited to be talking to you today and you know for us to be learning more about your experience.
Speaker 2:Oh, annabel, thank you so much. Absolute pleasure to be here. What is it? What is it like?
Speaker 1:Wonderful Mal. Why don't we start off by you sharing a bit about where were you just before, prior to us connecting and being introduced? What was going on for you at that time?
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, what wasn't going on. When I think back, I had come out of a really large piece of work that I'd been doing. A study project had consumed me, my work, and for a very long time in and out of COVID and I had that completion of the work, a lot of it around leadership and some study, and I came out and I was just running, I was trying to look for the next thing when am I meant to be? This is all meant to have solved all these amazing things for me and I'm, you know, the scholar now and what's my next job going to be and where am I going to go?
Speaker 2:And it was just this intensity of trying to keep up, probably a little bit of an imposter syndrome, going on as well. Am I good enough? Should I be here? Just so many questions, and it was a nervous system, was an overload. And then coming back into my work environment and thinking am I good enough? What, after all of this work, am I going to be able to bring to my role? All of that kind of stuff. And yeah, I was just struggling with a whole heap of Things in my leadership. You know I had done a big, significant piece of research and study on leadership and human leadership and caring leadership, which sets so well for my personality and probably my values. But how did I show up for that? Because my nervous system and the way I was feeling it just was conflicting. So, yeah, I was there and I didn't deal with conflict very well. I had anxiety around having to deal with those situations and I also didn't. I overthought a lot of things and then went to people please, and note so yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that was me in a nutshell.
Speaker 1:That was you in a nutshell and it's interesting because I know that leadership program that you went on was an awesome experience for you and it can be like we come out of an experience like that with really high expectations about how things were going to be and that things were going to change. But what I'm hearing you say is that you learned a lot of technical stuff in the leadership sense but there was some things that were missing for you internally and how you felt about yourself.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. That was in a nutshell. So I learned all of this leadership style, different aspects of guidelines to being good leaders in our roles, but internally I just was really not being able to find my own way and understand my emotions and how to process my emotions, and so I mean that's a game changer really.
Speaker 1:Because I've actually just finished a little piece that you're going to get, because we've got a new theme coming out to the mastermind on Thursday and one of the theme giving you a bit of a preview into it now is about self leadership.
Speaker 1:So you kind of think about leadership being often an outward focus, but I think our degree to be able, how effective we can be in our leadership of others, is so much about how effectively we can lead ourselves, and self leadership, I think, is so much about self-regulation and being able to regulate our emotions and regulate our nervous system. So what's it have been helpful for you in that space, because I know we've done a lot of work in that area for you so like what's changed for you there, what's been helpful for you there?
Speaker 2:I think, really understanding the nervous system, and when I've got feelings of anxiety coming up or stress, or I'm starting to overthink situations, I'm able now to be able to soothe my nervous system.
Speaker 2:So the tools that you've given me or that I've worked through is just understanding that feeling in my stomach, that flutter. It's actually understanding what's causing that and how to really process that. So I can, you know I do my breathing and a lot of it, you know, it does stem back the work we've done, soothing our inner child I think a lot of it does stem back to childhood and so being able to just understand okay. Well, you know you've got a bit going on. You need to take five minutes out and just practice some breath work, grounding and getting that nervous system back into a state where, in processing emotions, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Just touching on the inner child thing. Isn't it interesting? Because we can be this adult self operating in this. You know, then, adult environment, but so much of our staff, our stresses and our triggers really do stem from that younger part of us that are in a child. That exists in all of us. You know, we get chronologically older, don't we? But there's still that younger part of us that exists in us and it's that part of us that's often being impacted by the difficult conversations, the relationships, the dynamics at work.
Speaker 1:So being able to end to that part of us, I think, is so important I think I've shared on other episodes as well. It's if we don't tend to that inner child, that younger part of us, that part of us is leading us in what we do. It's the one that's leading us into behaviors and choices that really don't serve us. But if we know how to tend to that inner child and take care of her and make her feel safe, then we can jump back into our more rational, adult self and respond to situations and work environments or our relationships in life from that more kind of grounded, rational adult self, Annabelle.
Speaker 2:I think it's an awareness now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I'm so incredibly grateful now that I have that awareness so I can feel it and I go okay, then you've taught me, let's just find out what's going on. I need to take five minutes here. What's going on in these feelings? You're in your head, what do you need to process? You know and clear it and move it, and it's been an absolute game changer and I can see that now in the way in which I show up.
Speaker 2:I'm working at the Halleville you know a lot of life because I have those tools in my Annabelle Toolbox that I'm able to unpack and use to be able to deal with stress you know those difficult conversations and also just be able to honour where I want to be and the way I want to feel. So I want to feel joy. I want to be able to feel, you know, tranquility, peace. I don't want that sort of ugly intensity that we're in a heightened state, emotional state, all the time. I don't think it's healthy and it's just. It's just improved my relationships within my family, but I see, within my team, it's enabled them, I've enabled them to be able to grow and nurture through the way in which you've led yourself and been able to manage yourself Exactly, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:And I think you raise a great point around. You know valuing that sense of peace and that feeling of tranquility, and a lot of people in environments like yours you know large corporates would say like, oh, my experience is anything but that. We kind of look around and go like how would I ever feel peaceful in this environment when there's just a lot of moving parts, there's often challenging dynamics. What do you think like what's helped you in that way? Has that been about leading with that choice, like I'm choosing to feel this way? What's enabled you to access that feeling? Do you think?
Speaker 2:I think for me it is really about having space. Yeah, so creating space for this work. It's important that in the morning you know there's tools that we use, that I just take five minutes before you know I'm rushing. I'm not that gosh. The poor kids in the morning when I was in that stage and I was, you know, get out the door and we've got to get this done. Who's fed the dog and who's done this? It's just a calm because I'm taking time to set myself up to work, like for that day, and creating space. So I will set my intention. I look at my beliefs and what I really want to focus on in my beliefs for the day which we've worked through, and they sit beside me.
Speaker 1:What would be it just before we go any further. What would be an example of, like a belief that would help you sort of work in this lighter way? What would be a belief that you would be working with in the morning? Is there anyone that you'd feel Okay.
Speaker 2:so, for example, this morning it was that my trust in God's plan and he's with me today, and so I focused on that. I thought another day it will be. My team are getting everything that they need from me today and I'm there and present for them in a way that they need me. And then I set sort of look at my beliefs. My prayer is very important to me and that's been like.
Speaker 2:I don't think I can speak highly enough of the connection we have with faith and a bell. It doesn't sit, it's not out there, but you know like we're not evangelistic by any means, but it's something that you honor within me and it's just beautiful that I've been able to really kind of hone into that faith. And then so this morning, and then I have card for the day that I think about and I think, right, well, this is my intention, this is what I want to show up in my card today which is sitting with me at the moment. There's this one here and it is I've pulled braveness, I am brave, so it kind of just sits with me. So some of the conversations that I might have or doing, talking to you today or what will happen, that will just sit in front of me for the day going well, you're brave, you're capable.
Speaker 1:What would it look like for me to show up with?
Speaker 2:it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that morning practice.
Speaker 1:So you're saying it's about creating that space and really being intentional about how you want to show up today and and leading with that choice. And I think intention is so important, isn't it? Because I always say intention is kind of like casting out an anchor, like you're in a boat, you're like casting out the anchor, and the intention enables you to be really grounded in the experience you want to have. Even if the winds come up, even if the tides are moving you this way or that way, that happens in our day, and I think it's difficult for us to go through a day where things you know don't go sideways or things don't work out.
Speaker 2:The way we want to.
Speaker 1:There are always ways in which a day doesn't mean expectations, but I think it's. Leading with that intention allows you to be, I guess, resilient and to continue to honour the feeling that you want to have that day, even as there are some kind of those wobbles that happen as you go about the day.
Speaker 2:Yes, very much so, and that's you know, the morning. This morning is certainly. Things don't go to plan and we're a forever changing beast within the environment I work in, but this is where we go back and we go like I just need to reset. I need to just take five minutes to focus on where I'm going to sit today and you know, there might be courageous conversations that I now may have to have later on in my day or come to decisions, but I sit there with good intention and knowing that I can do it and I've got the tools to be able to continue to keep it light in the space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, end. Just back to starting the day. I think it's for me. I think those first few moments of the day, those first few minutes of the day, really are so important. They set the tone for the rest of the day. I found mornings and I think I've actually done studies on this that if you start the day scrolling on your phone, you will unconsciously end up seeking more of that kind of scrolling habit for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1:You will seek more of that screen time for the rest of the day. I'd sound that to be true if I'd start the day that way. Then it becomes a bit of a runaway train. I think it is bringing almost like a sacredness back to the beginning of the day. It looks different for all of us, doesn't it? For me, having LLEs, I used to have this elaborate morning routine where I would literally not think about work until 9.30. Somehow it looks very different, but I think it's possible for us to create something that feels really good for us, that feels spacious, like you say, that creates that spaciousness that helps us sit in that intention for the day. I think it's also really important that it's not super rigid too. We talk about menus, don't we Like a menuous thing to choose from.
Speaker 1:Some mornings we've got time and space to be able to do a lot of little things that can set us up well for the day. Other days for me, we've had a bad night. Lles has been up. I'm not going to have a lot of time, but I know it's so important for me to ground in something for the day. What would it look like if you didn't have a lot of time in the morning, if you only had a few moments? What would be your priority and how would you start the day?
Speaker 2:At the moment we're going through innovation, so we're in a bit of a, and there are times it's not perfect and it's days where it isn't all going to go to pan, but my one thing is my drive.
Speaker 2:So my drive is five minutes to work and it is. Then it is pre-year. One of the things that you taught me, one of the many things, is just if I'm struggling somewhere with a conversation or a person and I'm thinking about it, just send them a love form, just send them the intention of we're going to have a great day together. I send you my love. I don't know what's gone on in your night. You might have been up with children, you might have. So, for my team, I have an intention of we're going to have a great day. There's going to be peace, you are going to get fulfilled. Or if I'm going into a meeting. So really, the drive to work is crucial for me. It's so great.
Speaker 1:Because we're all. You're going to be doing it every morning, so even if you missed the other parts, you're going to be driving to work anyway. So how can we use that time with intention to do something that really sets us up well for the day? And I think the love bombers. It's like a superpower, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Like it's a very kind of magical trick. So if there's anyone listening who is having trouble with someone in their life, whether that be in a work sense, a personal relationship, yeah, try that technique that Mel's suggesting, where you, just when you think about them, send them the energy of love. Just imagine yourself like energetically kind of love, bombing them, sending them the energy of love, and it's really quite amazing what happens, isn't it? Without you really having to do anything. It's like the whole energy dynamic shifts between you and that person.
Speaker 2:It does and I think because it's opened our mind up. It's you know, we've opened our mind up and we've thought I'm actually really wanting to send you love. I want to send you appreciation for what you're bringing to work. I want you to come and be completely fulfilled and happy with your day to day, and it just lightens our heart Because we're actually sending them love and people feel that they responded.
Speaker 1:They might consciously know what that is, that they will feel a shift in the way that we're thinking about that person and, yeah, it creates that openness. Sometimes, with difficult situations or people we find difficult, we get kind of locked almost into this cycle of judgment where we're judging them all the time in our mind that why can't you be different, why can't you be more like this and like that judgment will keep us locked in that experience and it's so difficult to create anything else. When we're there, it is through that energy or love it unlocks it, doesn't it? It opens the energy and then that invites, as you say, that room for a new perspective to see them in a different way and for them to really feel that from us too.
Speaker 2:Oh, I think so, and that again has been a game changer. And I think when I look at my team sending that love and unlocking that, you know that RG, like they're not performing the way I want, they don't communicate the way I want, and what we should do and this is what I've learned Actually opening that up and sending that love ball just free them up. Yeah, free them up to actually go. I'm sad because Mel's got my back and she's just letting me and empowering me to be able to grow, to develop. She's given me, and that I have seen firsthand.
Speaker 1:Once I've changed that mindset and really worked on that, the people around me are starting to flourish, and that maybe leads us into the next part that I know has been really impactful for you this whole idea of leaning back and sitting back more.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, and I think, when I look back at it and I don't want to use the word control freak, but I probably was and it was it's my way and I need to have this done now and I look back in my childhood and that in a child it was very much. Things have got to be done, you've got to take control, you've got to make sure they're done. And actually we work in environment as women. I think it comes from that nurturing mother. Right, we've got to get this job done. We've got to get this in it. We put it into our work, yes, and we carry it on and we're not doing justice to ourselves. We've got to just sit back and we've got to just create space that lets others come through and trust.
Speaker 2:Trust and leaning back, I think, is one of the things we talk about is when we're having to have conversations or we're talking to people. We don't have to be the, you know, I'm a communicator, I talk, talk, talk, but just sitting back and being able to pass the wall and go. Well, you know, let them have input, let them have. You know, I don't have to be talking at people the whole time, but just sitting back and being able to honour that space that you're trying to create so they have room.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and I think sometimes you know we talk about beliefs and thoughts a lot on the podcast and I think sometimes, when our belief is feeling a bit shaky, we feel like we have to be the loudest person in the room.
Speaker 1:We have to always be providing a perspective or being heard in some way. But there's also a lot of power and being able to. You and I talked a lot about sitting back, but with an open heart. So it's sitting back, not with a closed heart where you closed off. It's sitting back and really opening your heart up, opening your body language up and meetings and conversations with people and knowing and really sitting in a deep sense of certainty about yourselves and what you're offering, without having to be the one that's always talking or having to kind of prove themselves in conversations. There's a lot of power. It's not passive, is it? No, it's something to sit back. There's a lot of power and being able to really sit back, to sit in that sense of certainty about ourselves and what we're offering, without having to be the loudest.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I think I likened it to lovingly managing my thoughts so I might come into something with preconceived ideas and I want to put this forward and I want all of this to happen but actually just lovingly sitting back, as you see, with an open heart and listening and giving opportunity to others to come forward, I think embrace simplicity.
Speaker 2:Quite often we can just be overthinking and we're on a treadmill and we're just running at things and, oh, that's right, this has popped up, I've got to deal with this and I've got to get that done. But actually embracing simplicity and just dealing with things in a light way, I think has been an absolute game changer for me. And the one thing I think I really feel about this work is it's a journey. It's something that will sit with me or sits with me now every day. So it's not something that I believe that you can duck into and I've done this and I'm going to take this off and I'm all good. It has to be continually working through it and it's not a book that you're going to put on the shelf. And I've read that self-help book and I'm going to be all tigety-boo now and I'm all over it. Yes, we have to keep looking at this stuff, this belief, work and our feminine leadership and learning and growing together as women.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely, and that's why daily practices, I think, are so important, as you talked about starting the day the way that you've described it, and having those moments and that sense of space throughout the day to be able to check in with ourselves. How am I feeling? And knowing that its feelings in our body is what is leading us to the thoughts that we're thinking.
Speaker 1:So if we're not feeling the way we want to, like you were saying, that raciness, that urgency, that stress, that overwhelm. The feelings are often the easiest place to go to first, but they will guide us back to a thought, because thoughts always create feelings. So, feeling the way you want to, that can be an easy check-in to think yeah, what thought am I thinking here? That isn't serving me, and it is that. It's those check-ins throughout the day. It's not like we have to do a huge ceremony around all this stuff, but it's that level of self-awareness which has to be ongoing.
Speaker 2:Oh look, I remember you talking about going through the supermarket and you're in the supermarket feeling well, I'm feeling a little bit. This is coming up for me and just in your mind going why is that coming up? Because I know this has happened. Right, we just need to work through this. We need to process the emotion, validate it. It's real. Yes, why is this coming up? It's okay to feel this way, process it, work through it and deal with it, and I think we owe it to people around us to honour that because it makes such a big difference in how we show up.
Speaker 1:So others and, importantly, for ourselves too, so when you talk about, I process it. So let's say, as you say, you're walking to the supermarket after work and you notice there's a raciness that you're feeling. You've checked in with yourself and you're okay. There's something that's come up for me and I can see it's actually to do with that experience that I had earlier today. That's what's created this feeling. What do you do when you talk about? I need to process that so that I can feel better. What does that look like practically for you?
Speaker 2:Well, I process it, obviously by understanding it and validating it, and I'm feeling this way because this, this, this, but then for me it is tapping. So that works for me. I do a lot of tapping, probably not so much during the day, but in the morning or at night. In the shower is my place. I live in a busy house with four other adults, so, but it's just breath work. Is breathing through, breathing through the healing, yeah, yeah, getting my breath. You know all the techniques that we've learned. So, yeah, the breath work, the tapping, just our PSR points on the four head, just like it's just slowing everything down and then anyone listening what Mel and I are just doing now, and you can do it now too.
Speaker 1:It's just like placing your hand over your forehead you can do sort of two hands to cover each other with forehead and they're called emotional stress release points and their acupressure points, and as we hold them and use our breath, we can think about something that's stressing us out. And as we hold and lightly touch these points, you'll start to notice that the stressful energy sitting around that experience will really begin to diffuse and be released. So it's amazing little tool for processing things, as you're saying, when they come up. It doesn't take long, like you could turn to the bathroom, and couldn't you, and do it in five minutes and then come out and feel quite different.
Speaker 2:Very much so and I use it a lot Like we've got a. It's a massive piece of work that I'm undertaking at the moment and I've done it's an event, a major event coordination. I've done two twice before coordinating this event and the last time I did it, in particular, I was absolutely burnt out to a frazzle, like you know. I remember sitting in my truck and, just you know, in tears going. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this. Well, this is incredibly stressful.
Speaker 2:So I had the intention with this event this time that I wasn't going to be in that state. So I've worked really hard on my intention of the way I want to feel doing that event or doing this event and honoring my intention. So anything get heightened around it. Then I sit back, breathe, assist and then work through it. And where, who weeks, three weeks out. I'm a completely different person and I have the intention that I'm going to honor myself in this work. I have the ability, I have the knowledge, my beliefs in myself is that everyone is getting what they need from me. I can coordinate this really, really well, use the strengths of the team to come in, and it's a completely different male that's sitting here there, I think three years ago, doing this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and from what I'm hearing you say, it sounds like it's not being that necessarily taken different actions, although that will happen as a byproduct. But it's actually more been about managing your own thoughts, how you've been thinking about yourself, the sorts you have about this experience, and choosing to be really intentional with that.
Speaker 2:About 100% and just knowing that I want to work lighter, I choose not to have that heavy urgency and hustle Hustle. It's a hustle that we get ourselves into. I don't want to feel that anymore. I want to work light. I want to go. Yep, we've got all of this under control. I've checked in here, relying on others checking in and just making it very intentional in the wake. I want to feel in my work. That's my beliefs. I want to feel tranquility, peace and calm within myself, and so setting that attention is and I think that is something that we stem back to the inner child that she may have been missing, yes, and now it's her time that it's okay, I've got you and I'm going to look after you and it's your time to be able to feel tranquility, love, peace and calm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so beautiful. What an elderly guest.
Speaker 1:You're able to offer yourself that's so powerful. And I think that sense of emotional safety is just like the core need as humans and whether we realize it or not, we are always seeking the same piece of safety. So we will do it in ways that serve us and also ways that we don't. So you talked about that hustle. That hustle that I think we can often experience at work is a hustle for safety. That's what we're hustling for, neither we realize it or not. Like we're hustling for safety, we're trying to find safety by pushing ourselves, by trying to get people to see our value, by trying to get things completed. We're trying to create that sense of safety, but it's realizing that that never creates safety for us.
Speaker 1:No, and it just feels good and it's knowing we can anchor into that ceiling ourselves, irrespective of what might be going on around us. It's about really creating that sense of safety now and we can have that feeling and we can anchor into it and everything flows from that, Like what you've been talking about. You feel safe in your body now and it's from everything else that you're experiencing at work flows from that feeling. Your conversations, how you lead, how you approach your own work Everything flows from feeling safe.
Speaker 2:And we talk a lot about seasons and we talk about the hustle, and I know, in a group that we're working with at the moment, very accomplished women all of us are working in a corporate busy environment we all had this tendency to think for us to be seen, or for me in particular, for me to be seen, I need to be seen to be hustling, I need to be seen to being out there, I need to be this, I need to be that. I've got to be seen to be getting on the emails at seven in the morning and I'm still checking my emails at eight at night and I'm oh look, I'll go and do that job. But how's that making my body feel? Am I feeling joy, calm, tranquility, or am I fear and flight? Or am I? Is this filling your cup? Because behaviorally it doesn't come across like that.
Speaker 1:So having the tools.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like how is it that you want to feel?
Speaker 1:And this can be a great question, because how do you want to feel in your work or in your life this year and really starting to create some awareness of your daily choices and behaviors and really ask yourself does it create more of that feeling for me or does it take away from that feeling?
Speaker 1:And that can be a simple framework on it to really start to go like this works for me and I know that this doesn't and it can be as simple as, like you know, scrolling when I get home from work to try and buffer some of the stress I'm experiencing. That doesn't create a feeling of calmness and tranquility for me, it takes away from it. So I know what would create that feeling for me is perhaps going for a gentle walk or coming home and having a shower, or just being able to do one thing at a time putting on some gentle music and just cooking dinner at a slower pace. You know that builds on that feeling. So it can be a simple framework to use to really elevate our experience and create more of those feelings that we want.
Speaker 2:Oh, wholeheartedly. And I think for me as a mother with daughters you know I'm learning this a little bit later in life but for others around me, and my daughters particularly, I want to show up for them so that they can see me coming in the door and I'm going to take time. So it's a beautiful night. I'm actually, you know, we've got a farmland, so I'm going to go out and actually spend some time with some of the animals or take time. Then I'm not going to rush in and rush in the door to the next thing and I've got all this stuff to do and I've got to be. You know the amount of times that I've been in an environment where I've been driving somewhere or going somewhere and I've had to. I've got to just check this email or I've got to get this done, and you know they've seen that and that's what I think potentially work was like this year. They don't see that. Well, since the work I've been doing with you, I'm showing up in a completely different way for them as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that can be some beautiful accountability. Count it. You know we make these changes for ourselves, to feel better within ourselves, but I think there's some nice gentle accountability when we realise what an impact it has on other people too.
Speaker 2:I think so and they see my rituals now without commentary, without without. It's just such an acceptance. So quite often they know I have you know, my Annabelle time as in when we have. You know, try and have that schedule when I'm at home, or you know when I'm doing my cards or my journaling. It's just such a beautiful acceptance because they can see the outcomes are so positive for our family life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, I feel the same too, More than my husband Ben. It's more than happy for me to have that and to do those things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, just for me, but also for the family, and a mentor of mine talks about how a mother is the spiritual head of the home, and I've really thought about that a lot since becoming a mum myself. It's our emotions and our energy that really sets the tone. So the rest of the home we are leading the emotional tone for the rest of the home. Have you found that in the ways of being a mum?
Speaker 2:Annabelle, 100%, and I suppose I don't want to say I've got regrets but and we want to look forward. But you know, like some of the times, with the kids growing up and putting you know as a mother, you always a working mother you've always got these. You know guilt or you're guilty about this and you're feeling guilty. I'm very grateful now the way in which I'm showing up. Always my spirituality has been with me and they know that. But it's about guiding them and showing up for them now in a way that is light. So it's not just about work and being light at work. You've got to be able to be light and hot at home, because your gold, my gold moments in the house is still that family meal. We come together, we talk about our day, we have a laugh and we take time just to be together and try and create those moments as a family.
Speaker 1:That's like, spiritually, what feeds us, that I think sometimes we are trying to seek through achievement, like there's certain things that achievement gives us, but I also feel like it's these slow moments in life is what spiritually and emotionally feeds us, and I think when we're in the hustle continuously, we miss those moments and that's really where the meaning of life is. That's, you know, I always know if I've had a weekend that's been slower and where we haven't really done a lot, but there's been times we've just been sitting outside as a family watching Aloe play or just doing some sight to the day. That is what feeds me. And then I know if I've had a busy weekend where we've, like, just done way too much, I'm depleted going into the week.
Speaker 2:And that is so true, the moments when I've just been out and I've walked out and just taken some time and the carbs have come up and checked in with me, where I've sat out in the deck chair and enjoyed our view and what we've created.
Speaker 2:I come into my week on a Monday just feeling so refreshed in my but if I've had a weekend where I'm busy or I'm, you know, and I think really interestingly in a work environment when I have opportunity to just get back to real basics, of connecting with customers and just taking that time, that the smallest of moments of helping, you know, a lady looking for something for her grandson, or that, to me, just fills my heart with joy. The simplest things of our roles, of getting back to basics and being able to help people and provide them with care and service and connection. And as my goal, that's my day. Like I might not have sold, you know, thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of product, but I've helped a lady that is looking for a shirt for her grandson and she's unsure about coming into our environment.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that, to me, that's enjoying the process, isn't it? And in our last, most recent month of the mastermind. You know we've been talking about this whole new way of approaching goals and it's so much more about being focused on a process rather than the outcome. And yeah, I look at one of the emotion first goal statements that I created for myself for work this year. I'm just looking at it here at my desk and it's like my business feels like a joy to play in.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:We should be so focused on outcomes and metrics that we actually forget that there is goodness here, that it is like this feels so joyful for me to be recording this conversation with you, and it's the lens through which I make choices in my work is how can I create more of that joy and not forget that the joy is here right now, in the process to me, creating the external outcomes?
Speaker 2:that I see too, oh, the goal setting work that we did was just incredible, because I've always looked at these goals where I want to run 10K and I want to do this, and I want to take this to here.
Speaker 2:When I sat back and did my goals and looked at them on how I wanted to feel and wanted to really honour my feelings, I reassessed the whole and it just it was just beautiful, you know it was. It was again around joy, and I want to be able to sit back and find the moments in my day that fill me with joy and yeah, and really taking time. One of the exercises I think we did was when we find the moments during the week that we can think this is amazing, this is popped it down on a sticky note and go well, I really want to come back to that and look at that for creating my goals and it's all around my feelings, it's all around my body, how I want to feel. Yes, absolutely Not about ticking off a box of well like I've achieved that or I've done that.
Speaker 1:It's about the feeling, yeah and I think, if we, too, focused on the ticking the boxes, we missed the feeling, we missed the actual reason why we're working towards the outcome in the first place, which is to feel good, which is to feel joy, fulfillment, a sense of peace, whatever it might be. So why not enable ourselves to feel that way now as we work towards the things that we want, rather than holding it at its arms and even going, oh, can't feel that way yet because I'm not there yet? Yes, it's a choice. Again, so much.
Speaker 1:What we're talking about today is leading with that choice, is leading with that intention. But choosing, choosing to feel joy, even if you've still got question marks about what might be next to be used, just choosing to feel joy, and if you're not quote unquote near yet. It's a choice and a decision and it has to come from us. No one else is going to create that for us, and we can't wait for certain things to be in place to feel that way, because there's always going to be something that needs to be in place. There's always going to be something else that needs to be clearer or more certain we need to achieve, if that's the place that we're approaching it from. So it's leading with that goal and really allowing ourselves to be, to be in the present and to allow ourselves to enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think it's to me. I just want to calm energy around me. I want to come in and really sit in that calm energy, happy content. But that doesn't come from hustling and it doesn't come from this intensity. That comes from being in my body and getting out of my mind and going. Well, actually, how are we feeling? Okay, there's a little bit of this processing emotions, knowing that this needs to be processed, and just setting my intentions and just it's an awareness. And now I'm setting myself up. I believe that I'm using my tools now so that it's easy. It's not a struggle, it's not a grind, it's not a heavy life I'm leading and, dare I say it, not finding the happiness and the moments and the joy. It's just a grind. Now that I have my tools, things are easier and I've got my awareness is very much heightened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. The more you choose to check in with yourself and ask those questions how am I feeling? What's coming up for me? The greater your awareness is, and the greater your awareness is, the better you have to manage yourself. Manage how you're feeling in a loving way and manage yourself into the feelings that you want to have in your life?
Speaker 1:Yes, I wouldn't. So you're about to move into your third round of the Masterclass, which is super exciting. So tell me a bit about what that experience has been like for you being in the last one.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a very. Sometimes it can be quite emotional because we're sharing with other women and you know we'll jump on and we'll go In our sector we work in or the environment we work in. There's connections and so we're working with women that very much going through or working through the same things that we are all faced with. So it's incredibly humbling and it's beautiful that we're all sitting here together and we've jumped on and we're sharing and working together and the learning is with everyone in that room, connecting with them, and it's something that we just can. There's some gold there, with the women that we're working with and knowing that we're all working through these things together and it's just humbling. I think that we're evolving and we're growing and we're moving forward in our feminine leadership and our ability to really honour ourselves collectively. And, yeah, unreal that a lot of us are in the same sector.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think there's so much power isn't there in the collective experience, like you say, realising you're not the only one. And I think a lot of what keeps us stuck in an experience is feeling like it looks like everyone else has got it together. But here I am, having all of these doubts, all these fears, all this overwhelm, and so many of the women in the mastermind I would say all of them are people that other people would look at and think, man, they've got it all together. Look at them. But here we are coming into this experience together with a sense of vulnerability, saying actually, no, I'm struggling, and I'm struggling too and I'm struggling with this, you know, and the whole the group is able to kind of share this collective experience there.
Speaker 2:So then you don't feel like you're alone in that and of itself, and to begin to change, realising yeah, I'm not alone and there and I think the way in which the space that you create for us women is incredibly beautiful and in the sense that it just flows so naturally, there is the way in which we come up, we work on grounding ourselves, we do a breathwork and you set us up beautifully to share and to be able to be vulnerable, but to lift each other up and raise each other so that the environment that you create for us, annabelle, is one that you just, you know, you know, my Thursday afternoons are just honoured completely for my space to be with you and the mastermind, and it's always fun, isn't it, coming together?
Speaker 1:every week, being able to do the work.
Speaker 2:And you know we often talk about seasons and I think last year was a season for me of really working in this space, honouring the fact that I was building my toolbox and working on myself so that now 2024, I'm able to. I know now it's safe for me to step forward within my career and you know I'm safe to be able to do that and challenge myself, sometimes to work to my highest good, but also making sure I'm honouring my energy and the calmness that I want to feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely Reaching for more, but being able to enjoy what, yeah, yeah, amazing Mel. Ok, well, I feel like we could talk for a lot longer, but oh yes, my amperta box.
Speaker 2:And I'm a big gift I can communicate like this most in a row so I love when you chat you want to share.
Speaker 1:maybe if someone was thinking about joining the mastermind, thinking about joining work with me in some way. Is there anything else that you want to share before we finish up?
Speaker 2:I just I honestly my gratefulness around what this has brought to me and how much it has been an absolute lifeline to me. I hate to think, if I didn't have this in my life, what I would look like or where I would be. So anyone that is feeling the urge to really connect into their feminine leadership in themselves. Annabel, that's just the most wonderful experience I've ever had.
Speaker 1:Mel. Well, thank you so much for oh, you're more than welcome to chat and being here and to share through your experience. It's been really wonderful to chat with you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I loved it Absolutely always, Annabel. God bless.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast wherever you're tuning in from. Subscribe so that you don't miss any upcoming episodes. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Reach out to me over on Instagram, facebook, on my website I'll leave the links to those below.
Speaker 1:And if this kind of work has been on your mind this year, if you come into the new year thinking I really want a different experience with work I don't want to burn out and feel that same level of stress and overwhelm that I felt last year then check out Elevate, the Mastermind. As I said, this is my six month intimate group coaching program. That is the place to be to create calm, sustainable success. So if you want to learn how to advance your career and step into more opportunities in your work life, but do it in a way that feels easier and lighter on your body and nervous system, this would be great for you. We do a lot of work around your beliefs, changing the way you see yourself so you can share it with more certainty and self belief. We talk a lot about how to work light. This is a key concept in the Mastermind how we can still achieve more of the things that we want, but do it in a way that feels really good to us and to our bodies.
Speaker 1:We meet weekly for six months. All of our sessions are recorded. They're a beautiful mix of teaching and coaching and open Q&A. The power is not only in the concepts that I teach you in our sessions, but it's also in this beautiful collective coaching aspect. So, joining the Mastermind, you get access to my coaching, but also this intimate group of women who are working through really similar things to you, and there's so much power and being connected to others and creating the change that you want to see in your work life and in your life overall. So check out the link below. We start the last week of the last day of February and there's some special bonuses on offer for joining before the 9th of February. So check it out and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to get in touch. See you on the next episode.