What if all the pressure, stress, and baggage associated with goal setting and resolutions were completely unnecessary? What if there was a different way to envision our year ahead and set our intentions, one that made the process feel lighter, more fun and focused on the journey not just the achievement?
Join me inside this episode to learn a whole new perspective on resolutions and goals.
Inside this episode we discuss:
Rethinking goals and resolutions and the way we approach them
The importance of understanding the “unconscious agreements” we often have with goals (and how this makes it hard to set them, stick with them and achieve them)
Why approaching goals and resolutions with a solid foundation of “I am already enough” is key
Journaling prompts and questions to help create clarity on what you want and what’s true for you in 2024
Journaling Prompts from the episode:
Is this my goal or is it someone else’s? Does this feel true for me or do I feel like I should be working towards this?
Because I know I’m already enough, with absolutely nothing to prove to myself or anyone else…
What feels good for me to focus on this year?
What feels important/ nourishing / fulfilling for me this year?
What if all the pressure, stress, and baggage associated with goal setting and resolutions were completely unnecessary? What if there was a different way to envision our year ahead and set our intentions, one that made the process feel lighter, more fun and focused on the journey not just the achievement?
Join me inside this episode to learn a whole new perspective on resolutions and goals.
Inside this episode we discuss:
Rethinking goals and resolutions and the way we approach them
The importance of understanding the “unconscious agreements” we often have with goals (and how this makes it hard to set them, stick with them and achieve them)
Why approaching goals and resolutions with a solid foundation of “I am already enough” is key
Journaling prompts and questions to help create clarity on what you want and what’s true for you in 2024
Journaling Prompts from the episode:
Is this my goal or is it someone else’s? Does this feel true for me or do I feel like I should be working towards this?
Because I know I’m already enough, with absolutely nothing to prove to myself or anyone else…
What feels good for me to focus on this year?
What feels important/ nourishing / fulfilling for me this year?
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Share this episode with a friend who may enjoy it too.
Speaker 1:
Hi, it's Annabel Matzin and welcome to the Steep your Soul podcast. Soulful guidance for women who are seeking deeper truth and meaning to their lives. If you're ready to move past what's been holding you back and awaken to your full potential and purpose in life, then let's get started. Hello, welcome back to the podcast. It's Annabel here. Great to be here with you sharing another episode and I'm recording this in.
Speaker 1:
At the beginning of December, last month of the year, there can be a lot of talk, some would say a lot of noise, that can come up around this time of year as we finish off the final year, the final month of the year, and head into the new year. There can be a lot of talk about goals, about intentions, about resolutions, and what I find is that there can be some subtle pressure that can start to build about having new goals and having a new focus for the year. We can hear the phrase, you know, new year, new you, and I've got some thoughts on that, which I'm going to explore in this podcast episode and in kind of in a series of episodes that will come after this as well, really designed to support you as you enter into the new year. So what I find is that we can have a bit of a complicated relationship with goals, and I know that I have had that and I find this with a lot of people that I work with. There's this often a subconscious hangover of times where we've set an intention to create or achieve something and we haven't quite got there, and so we carry around this shame or disappointment or frustration that that thing didn't work out, and so that can mean, a we feel hesitant to try again, or, b we place more and more and more pressure on ourselves to do better the next time and we can set the bar so high, have really high expectations of ourselves, and often that pressure causes us to kind of fall off the path, fall off track, and so the same cycle repeats itself. So as we begin to think about the new year and what it might hold, I want to invite you into a new perspective. So in this episode we're going to be talking about a new perspective around goals and resolutions and I'm going to help you rethink goals and resolutions and the way that you approach them. And, if you'd like some more support with this, I am hosting a workshop in the new year in January called Visioning Into 2024. And it's going to provide you with a refreshing new approach to goal setting and resolutions and support you to clarify a vision for the year ahead that feels exciting, that feels inspiring, and we're going to do all of this without the pressure that often comes with goal setting. So if you'd like to check that out, go and have a look at the link in the description of this episode. There's also an early bird price available until the 11th of December.
Speaker 1:
So the issue with a lot of goal-setting is that the undercurrent of it is based in lack and not enough. So I'm not enough, I don't have enough, so I need to work towards this to create a feeling of sufficiency for myself. So that's kind of often what's sitting underneath a lot of this and this is what can create this complication for us. So a lot of the time, unconsciously, we're setting goals to prove something, either to ourselves or to other people, sometimes a mixture of both, and it can start to really create this approach that feels like a form of punishment. We don't do it from a place of love, and this is where it starts to become complicated. So it's really hard to be consistent, to follow through, to maintain something, to feel inspired to have energy to keep it up when we're doing something from a place of lack. So this is what I call having an unconscious agreement with something. So we're not always aware of it because it's unconscious, but it's often the place that we're approaching our intentions and our goals from. We've got this unconscious agreement with the goal that if I achieve you, then I'll be better in some way. Once I make this change somehow, I'll be more worthy, I'll be more enough in some way. So, as I said, it's not always a conscious story, so you might not be walking around thinking this, but we will know that this unconscious agreement is playing out in some form or another.
Speaker 1:
If working to working, if working towards what we want, feels really pressurey, it feels like there's a lot of stress in the pursuit of what we want and there's no joy on the journey to creating what we want, and it can feel really hard to follow through and hard to maintain, and we might even be hesitant to step out and give something another go and try again, because basically what's happening is that there's a part of us that's really in resistance to the goal itself because of this unconscious agreement. Because we've made this agreement that OK goal, I'll achieve you, and then you'll give me more self-worth, then you'll make me feel better about myself, then I'll feel better about myself, and then there's a part of us that really doesn't want to work towards something If something as big as our self-worth is on the line, because what if we don't achieve it? And then what might that say about us or how might we feel about ourselves as a result? So all of this is happening quite unconsciously, but it's what's creating this complication around goals and why they can just feel so sticky for a lot of us. There's also another place that we can approach goals from, and it's the subtle undercurrent of I need to keep up or I'm falling behind. We might be like looking to our left or our right and sizing up whether we're doing enough Based on what others are doing, or whether we're good enough based on what others are doing. And Without being aware of this, without kind of bringing this up to our conscious level, without processing it, we can often unconsciously Let that comparison and form what we're working towards.
Speaker 1:
So what this will do is it will create an insane amount of pressure for us. I know that. I have been been there and and had this show up for me, and so we'll wonder why? Why do I feel so burnt out? Why do I feel so exhausted? And a lot of it can be to do with this Because we've got this pressure like we're in this hustle, we're almost in this race to keep up with other people, feeling like where we need to keep up or we're falling behind in some way, and it's quite insidious. I find that this can sort of just creep up on you.
Speaker 1:
So not trusting in our own path, not trusting in our own pace of life, will mean that we feel really pressured to work towards stuff that is often not even meant for us, that's not even true for us, and so that's why I think it is so important that we question our motives for wanting a particular goal or working towards something. It's actually stopping and creating the time and creating the space To sit with ourselves when an idea comes to mind, when there's something that Shows up in your space and your orbit and you're thinking, oh yes, I'd love this. I think it's taking the time, creating that space to say, okay, is this goal or is this focus Mine or is it someone else's? Does this feel true for me or do I feel like I should be working towards this. I'm gonna start to leave a series of questions in the description of this podcast episode so that you can write these down and To sort of refer to them as you're heading into the new year and you're starting to ponder this stuff. So really taking that time to kind of question your motives, question why you're wanting to work towards a certain thing, and sometimes the answer can be like yes, this is so me, this is exactly what I want. This feels really true.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes, if we sit with it long enough, that sort of more unconscious layer will start to bubble up to the surface and that's where we can acknowledge maybe we're comparison or that kind of hustle to keep up is showing up and informing our Choices and forming the things that we're working towards, because it's a slippery slope if we're doing it from that place. This is where we run into challenges, because Setting goals, working towards things to somehow prove our worth, to prove that we're good enough, that we're doing enough, it's never going to create the kind of life that we want and, as we've been talking about, it creates pressure, it causes us to push ourselves unnecessarily, it will create burnout for us and it means that we often work towards stuff that is not even meant for us, that we don't even really want, and it will Leave us feeling empty you and like we're never enough. Even if we do achieve something, the goal posts will always shift. They'll continue to shift. So, no matter how much we achieve, we'll feel like we're never enough.
Speaker 1:
When we're approaching goal setting, when we're approaching our intentions, our resolutions from this place of goal make me feel better about myself. So how we need to approach this instead is starting with the solid base or consolidating this base, this base of I am already enough. Nothing I can do, nothing I could achieve this year would make me any more worthy. Nothing I could do or achieve this year would make me any more enough. I am already all of that. So, starting from that solid base of sufficiency, of high self-worth, of love and approval towards yourself, starting from that base, then giving yourself some space to explore Okay, because I know I'm already enough, with absolutely nothing to prove to myself or anyone else what feels good for me to focus on this year, what feels important for me this year, what would feel deeply nourishing and fulfilling for me and I'm gonna leave these questions, as I said in the description of this episode, so you can copy and paste them. These would be great questions to just sit with over the break. Get them out into your journal, save them to the note app on your phone and come back to them and reflect on them.
Speaker 1:
So when you can make this shift into this place of sufficiency, when you're feeling full from your own acceptance, when you're feeling good enough, you will notice not only how that how your approach to goals and intentions really changes, but also what you work towards can shift and change too, because you'll find that you tap into a much truer version of what it is that you want. When you're coming from this place of love and approval and acceptance of yourself as you are right where you are, it will create so much more satisfaction for you, so much more fulfillment for you, because you will do things that are really in alignment with who you are and what you want. And when we approach our intentions, our goals, our vision, from this full place, suddenly we can take a breath. We feel so much more emotionally safe in our bodies that the pressure is gone and so our nervous system settles right down. And when our nervous system is feeling lovely and settled and regulated. Taking action and creating momentum, sticking with the things that we want, feels so much easier. So much easier when our nervous system is regulated and when we feel safe and I'll be talking about this a little bit more in a future episode that I plan to record around maintaining momentum towards our goals and how we can sort of stay with them, stay aligned with them. So I'll be talking more about that there and through the lens of the nervous system. So keep an eye out for that episode as well.
Speaker 1:
And also, when we approach things from this full place, from this place of sufficiency, of feeling enough, it also gets to be about the enjoyment of the journey to achieving what we want. Because when it's about the achievement and it's solely about achieving the thing to feel good enough, then we're really attached to the achievement and it's just like this hustle and race to get to the achievement. When we make this shift and that I'm talking about here, it's so much more about the feeling and the experience, rather than this pressure to achieve and meet this goal, to feel better about ourselves. We get to have fun along the way, we get to feel good along the way, and isn't that the whole point To feel good. We're often not allowing ourselves to feel good until we get there, and so we're holding all of the joy and the acceptance, the approval of ourselves at arm's length until we get there.
Speaker 1:
But when I was thinking about this episode, this thought came to mind when you think about it, most of the journey is about the steps it takes to get to the end goal. It's not really about the achievement of the goal itself. So we've actually got to lean into the enjoyment, the process of achievement, because that's the majority of where our majority of our time is spent. It's the journey to get there. Otherwise, if we're just attached to the, to the achievement, at the end those good feelings are really just fleeting. So it's about leaning into the journey and enjoying the journey, finding the joy of of the journey, because that's so much of where our time is spent.
Speaker 1:
So I want you to feel like you can release any pressure that you might be feeling or that you have felt in the past around any of this stuff, and really just allow yourself to feel good now by knowing that you are already everything that you, you hope your goals will give you. You are already enough. You already have enough. You are already worthy and you are exactly where you're supposed to be. So trust your pace, trust where life has you there's no one to keep up with and just really keep your eyes on your own journey.
Speaker 1:
So if you're looking for some support in this space and you want to experience a refreshing new approach to goals and intentions in a pressure-free way, in January I'm hosting a visioning into 2024 workshop and there's some special special pricing available until the 11th of December. It's going to be held in early January, on the 11th of January. It's also fully recorded. If you can't make it live, you can just catch up in your own time. If you're taking time off in January, purchase a ticket and you can just catch up on the recording when you feel ready to do this kind of reflection and for some people that might not be until the kids are back at school in February or March or any other time of the year.
Speaker 1:
This process works really for any point in the year. It's not just about the beginning of the year. So inside this workshop you're going to be discovering this fresh perspective on new year intentions and setting goals. We'll be crafting a vision for your year that feels really inspiring, that makes you feel energized and excited about what lies ahead. We'll be diving into some of the baggage that can accompany goals a little bit like what we've talked about today and you're going to be invited to reimagine goals and learn how to create, learn how to approach the vision that you want for your year in a way that just doesn't have all of that pressure around it. So you'll be guided through a reflective process that you can come back to again and again. That's going to help you really connect with what you truly want in 2024.
Speaker 1:
So it's a two-part workshop. First part is about a 90-minute to two-hour workshop Live on Zoom. You'll get a detailed digital workbook. There's also a follow-up Q&A session that will happen a few weeks later. For any remaining questions, anything else that you need support with as well, you can also upgrade to include a one-on-one session with me, so I'll leave a link to that below. There's early bird pricing available until the 11th of December. Love to see you there if this is feeling like a fit for you, and keep an eye on the podcast. There's going to be more episodes coming out to support you as we enter into the new year and look forward to connecting with you soon.