Morning Rituals: Setting the Tone for a Really Good Day Ep 57

Inside this episode, I'm sharing about how we can support ourselves to have a really good day - based on how we start it.

I share my personal experiences and research suggesting that morning phone use leads to increased distraction and stress throughout the day.

I share different morning rituals (no matter how much time you have these will work for you!)

Plus some key questions to ask yourself to shape a really positive day ahead.


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Transcript

0:29

Hi, it's Annabelle. Welcome back to the podcast. This is a little micro episode for you today that I wanted to record. It's been something that's been stirring for me. It's a practice that's really important for me in my life. And I wanted to share it with you as well, but I did think Oh, do I record an episode about this? Just because we hear so much content out there about morning routine or what to do in your morning routine. Almost it can become a little bit of a cliche. I think the proof is in the pudding for me. If I start the day scrolling, I'm reaching for my phone for the rest of the day. It just becomes like this runaway train that I actually cannot get under control. And I find myself just feeling really distracted for the rest of the day. I feel irritable, I'm not present, I find it hard to parent when I've started the day with a lot of stimulation. And I wonder whether you might notice that for yourself. There's actually research that backs this up too, that says when we're starting the day with a lot of stimulation. So phone scrolling, email checking, TV watching. We're going to reach for that stimulation more frequently for the rest of the day because we're always reaching for what is familiar to us. So if it's really familiar for us to be super stimulated, super checked in to what's happening on our phone, we're just going to reach for that familiar habit. And what happens is with this is it can add to our already activated state. So if we're starting the day already feeling a degree of activation in our nervous system, so IE we're looking at the day here feeling a bit anxious about how much we have to do or What the day might bring that stimulation that we are experiencing from email, checking TV, watching phone scrolling. It just adds to the activated state. It drives up the stress response that we're experiencing. And I think it makes us less resilient to the stress or the challenges that might come our way in the day. So it impacts our ability to deal with those things as they come our way. I think I can just really honestly say for myself, if I start the day with scrolling, when there are challenges that come up for me in my day, I'm going to be very reactive around those things. I'm going to find it's really hard for me to respond to those challenges in a mindful way, in a rational way, in a calm way. On the other hand, if I start the day with stillness, sometimes it can only be five or 10 minutes, if I've been up in the night with my daughter, Eloise, sometimes I don't have the space to be able to do half an hour or so of mindful time first thing in the morning. I don't actually think it's about the amount of time that we're spending, but it's that we do dedicate the time that we are intentional about the time that we do have. So I know when I start the day with stillness, my day goes completely differently. So I really think how we experience that first five minutes, five minutes to the first half an hour of the day has a huge impact on how we feel for the rest of the day. Because I think if you spend the day checking in to everyone else's agendas, so your emails, what people are wanting from you, what people are asking from you about, like the news, What's, latest chaos is happening in the news, social media stuff, everyone else's things, updates that they're posting. If we check into everyone else's agendas at the beginning of the day, you're going to stay checked into the world around you. And you'll inevitably feel really disconnected from yourself, disconnected from what you need. And it's going to be hard to honor yourself and your own needs. And through that, to really feel the way that you want to. So I think this takes a lot of self discipline. I know that it does for me because every part of us just wants to reach for our phones. And I hear that voice in my head. When I start the day, Oh just quickly check and see if that email's come through or just quickly check what updates have happened there on social media. But I think what I ask myself is when I hear that voice come up, is am I willing to pay the price that comes with this quick check in? Because I know even just a quick check in is enough to just throw me into all of that stimulation. As I said, it becomes really hard to get under control for the rest of the day. So I think it's, Rather than allowing your day and the people you interact with to determine how you're going to feel, it's about creating a clear intention and leading with that. So how you start the day could, it could look really different depending on the time you have available. As I said, I've got a toddler and she's It's still up in the night, so that can really determine how much time I have in the morning, depending on what the night has been like. So I don't think again, it's not so much about how much time we're investing, but that we're being intentional with the time. So I think it's really a cool, something that can be really cool to do is making this intention about how you're going to feel today. So making a decision like saying to yourself, like, how am I going to feel today? So you could write down in a journal, how am I going to feel today? Make a clear decision about how you're going to feel rather than allowing the day or people in your day to dictate how you're going to feel. Make a decision from the outset before you've interacted with anyone. This is how I'm going to feel today. Make a decision about the kinds of thoughts that you're going to be thinking today. So maybe you're looking ahead to something that you know is going to be quite challenging or tricky or maybe something you don't even really want to do, you have to do it. The thoughts that you're thinking about that are going to really determine your experience of that. So make a decision about the kinds of thoughts that are going to support you to have The experience you want to have. So these are the thoughts that I'm going to be thinking today. I'm going to be thinking this. I'm going to be thinking that I'm going to be thinking that I can do this, that this is possible for me, that I'm capable, that I'm enough, that I've got this, that I've got more than enough time, that I can feel calm and settled as I move through my day to day. These are the thoughts that I'm going to be thinking today and also making a decision about the kind of person. That you're going to be today. That can be the third question you could write down or think to yourself first thing in the morning. So what kind of parent do you want to be today? What kind of friend or colleague or boss are you going to be today? Again, deciding that ahead of time. When we start the day with stimulation, we basically on the back foot of life. We're in this really reactive state where we're allowing life to just determine how we're going to feel. So based on what comes our way, that determines our feelings and our thoughts and the kind of person that we're going to be for the day, ending that, that habit of stimulation just getting out in front of it, choosing to put that to one side and starting with intention means you get out in front of life. You get out in front of life and you're in much more of a proactive state. So actually, no matter what happens today, this is who I'm choosing to be. I'm choosing to be this kind of friend, this kind of work colleague, this kind of parent today, that this is the choice that I'm making. And that becomes like your anchor point so that when you do get pushed around during the day, which we all do right with pressures and expectations, responsibilities, we can come back to that. That anchored place where we go, no, this is who I'm choosing to be. And this is how I'm going to react and respond today. So I think those are three questions that I think are really powerful to support you to have the kind of day that you want. How are you going to feel today? What are the kind of thoughts that you're going to be thinking today? And what kind of a person are you going to be today? What kind of a friend? Parent, colleague, or boss. Are you going to be today? And some other ideas of things that you could use first thing in the morning could be listening to my, I am audio. If you haven't already listened to that, it's free to download. It's like a five or six minute audio. That's just filled with positive uplifting statements and affirmations. And it just makes you feel so good. It lifts your energy. Lifts your mood and five minutes or less plug it in while you're getting ready in the morning when you're out exercising On your drive on your way to work It's really great to listen to so that's the I am audio the link to download that for free is below in the description of this episode, five minutes of deep breathing. So that's something that I always try and focus on before I jump into anything else in the day. So before my feet touch the ground, I'm really focusing on my breath. And that could be just. Taking deep belly breaths and maybe counting back from 20 or 30, if you can do it. There's also some really great people on YouTube that have awesome breathing exercises. I love a guy called Breathe with Sandy on YouTube. So he's worth checking out. He's got lots of five or 10 minute breathing exercises that just make you feel amazing. So breathing is really great. Slow movement, stretching uses a time for prayer or meditation. EFT tapping emotional freedom technique or called tapping is a technique that I love that I include a lot in my work with clients. Tapping is also an excellent way to start the day. So I'd highly recommend doing that as well. Think starting your day with intentional, being intentional, is a really powerful place to live from and it will really transform how you experience the harder stuff. And I think it's making it work for whatever season of life that we're in. I know when I had a newborn and I was up all night as you are with small babies I had to, like I, Before I had aloes, I had so much time on my hands to be able to take care of myself first thing in the morning. But I had to adjust that and work out, okay, what's going to work in this season of life? And it may be that maybe you have to get up with your kids. My husband does first thing in the morning, so they do have that time. To take a moment to center for the day, but if you get up with your kids, it may be about looking at what could you have them engaged with first thing in the morning so that you could do some breathing while you're preparing their breakfast. So you're doing that anyway. Why not bring intention to that and just really focus on your breath and breathe while you're doing those tasks. Put the IM audio in your ears. First thing in the morning, put it on for everyone to listen to in the house. These ways we can make it work even if we're short on time. So I'd really encourage you to look at what that could look like for you. So if you're up for it, take the challenge, put your phone to one side for the first 15 minutes to the first 30 minutes of the day. And. And really watch what happens. I know that you're going to experience a big shift from this. So thanks for joining me here on the podcast. I've got an update. My program calls elevate the mastermind. You've probably heard me talk about it here on the podcast has had a rebrand and it's now called working lightly. And this is my intimate six month group coaching program for women who want to feel more calm, confident, and in control of their work experience and of the demands of life. It's going to teach you a whole new way of working and living. That's just going to bring so much more. Peace, calmness, and balance. It's going to enable you to step forward into the things that you want to work towards in your work and career with more self belief. It's a really beautiful program. We start on the 5th of September. There's a special bonus on offer if you want to join as an early bird in July. So go and check that out. If that resonates with you, there's a link to that program below. We're an intimate group coaching program. So the numbers are capped at a small number to create that sense of intimacy with the group. So if you're thinking about joining book a time to chat to me, apply for the program so that you can secure one of those spots. Also, if you haven't already subscribed to this podcast leave it a rating. If you're over. On Spotify, that looks like the little stars at the top of the podcast there, or if you're on Apple podcast, writing a review I would so appreciate if you did that. It really helps support the podcast and to get it out to more people to help and serve others as well. If you know someone who would enjoy this episode, please share it with them as well. And I look forward to connecting with you in another episode.