Secret Strategies For Staying Consistent This Year Ep 73

We often begin the new year with motivation, clarity, and big intentions — and then somewhere along the way, momentum fades.

Procrastination creeps in.

We apply more pressure.

And instead of moving forward, we find ourselves stuck.

In this episode, I’m sharing secret strategies for staying consistent -  and it has far less to do with discipline or willpower than you’ve been led to believe.

We explore why consistency breaks down at the nervous system level, how pressure and self-criticism can push us into freeze mode, and what actually helps us follow through on the changes we care about.

You’ll learn:

• Why motivation alone doesn’t create consistency
• How your nervous system influences procrastination and follow-through
• The role of self-compassion in sustainable change
• Why “low and slow” creates momentum that lasts
• How to approach goals in a way that feels supportive rather than heavy
  
  

This episode is for anyone who wants to move forward this year -  without burning out, forcing themselves, or giving up when things get hard.



*NEW YEAR RESET COACHING PACKAGE* (Jan full, few places left for Feb)
Final opportunity to work with me before my Mat Leave. For all the details click here



PODCAST EPISODES FOR THE NEW YEAR
More episodes to help you as you start afresh this year:

Getting Clear On What's Next Live Workshop Recording - Ep 60

Trusting The Next Right Step Ep 69

Unlocking Clarity: Four Keys To Stimulate A Flow of Ideas, Insights & Opportunities - Ep 62

Should You Stay or Go? (Your Job + Anything Else In Life) Ep 46

Private Coaching - book in for an Initial Breakthrough Session or work with me in a 3 or 6 month program

Reclaim Your Calm $20 workshop

Visit my website

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Transcript

0:28

Hello and welcome back to the podcast. It's Annabel here. My husband Ben has taken my daughter off to the park for an hour, and I thought this was the perfect little window to be able to record. This episode's something that's been swirling for me and that I've been seeing show up in the last week in my client sessions. Uh, so I wanted to record an episode around how we stay consistent and I wanna share with you the secret strategy to staying consistent this year. Because at the time of this recording, it's the new year and many of us at this time of the year, we've got. New things that we wanna start, new things we wanna commit to this year. It might be health habits, it could be lifestyle related, it could be about purpose and work. Things that we've been putting off and we've said, okay, this is the year. This is the year I'm going to do this thing. It may be plans. We have dreams, things we wanna see ourselves move forward with, and we're all familiar with that cycle where we can start off with. A real his and aro and be filled with motivation and enthusiasm about what we are doing. And then not long after we see that wane and then we find ourselves procrastinating or talking ourselves out of the things we once really wanted to do. So today in this episode, as I said, I'm gonna be talking to you about the secret strategy to staying consistent. And this applies to literally any change you're wanting to make. I think this is hardly ever discussed, and it's not something most of us are currently doing, but when you choose to approach your year and approach new change in this way and you take this different approach, uh, you're gonna see so much change for you. So I'm excited to be sharing it with you. If this episode is helpful to you, please share it with a friend, share it with someone who would also receive value from it. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. Make sure that you're following the episodes so, you'll get notified when new episodes drop. Um, and make sure you check out some of the other episodes on the podcast too when you're finished with this one. So how do you support yourself to remain consistent towards the things you want? Well, I think the answer lies in three things generally. One is your nervous system, two is your level of self-compassion, and three is the value of doing less. So let me explain. We need to think about how we are approaching our goals and intentions and the things that we want. Not just what we are working towards. And we really need to keep it light and easy on our nervous system. So when it's something we really want, we can turn it into this big serious thing. And it starts to feel so heavy. We feel all this pressure on ourselves to get it right, to do it perfectly, to get it done. And then we can get so down on ourselves, we can get frustrated and annoyed that we aren't doing it the way. We told ourselves that we would, maybe we are not as committed as we once were. And then what happens is more often than not, our nervous system freezes. So we apply this pressure, this judgment on ourselves, and then we go into freeze mode. And you might be familiar with the different nervous system states. I talk about them a lot here on the podcast, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. I think two nervous system states that get in the way get in our way the most when it comes to being consistent, it is flight and freeze. So flight is the nervous system response we go into when we start feeling racy and busy and anxious, and we are flying around through our to-do list, or we spend loads of time up in our head, future tripping and thinking about the future. That's flight mode freeze. The one I wanna talk to you about today is. Like procrastinating, it's our nervous system gets taxed, it comes, it's responding to a threat. It's responding to the pressure that we are placing on ourselves, and then our nervous system freezes. And so we find ourselves procrastinating. We see that we are getting stuck in place. We find we are aimlessly scrolling on our phone even though we know that it's not good for us, but we can't seem to get off. Maybe we are zoning out in other ways, knowing what we need to be doing, but not being able to do that, to, to do those things, that's the freeze response, and that's not you being lazy. And needing to have better time management or needing to be more motivated, that's you needing to tend to your nervous system. That is a nervous system, that is taxed. That's a nervous system that's come under threat. It's feeling pressured, and we have to support ourselves out of that state in order to experience something different. So the freeze response feels like blocks on our feet. It's just like, oh, I know what I need to do, but I can't get to it. So when we notice that we've hit a bump in the road, we've had a day or we've had a week where we haven't created momentum. Towards the thing that we really desire. And then we apply more pressure to ourselves. We judge ourselves harshly for being that person that can't stick with it. It'll drive us further into the stuck place until we eventually just kind of give up or we talk ourselves out of it. So, as I said before, it's not just what you are doing, it's how you are doing it. It's how you are approaching working towards your goals and intentions. And it's so important that we keep it light on our nervous system. And sometimes that's about changing your perspective around what you're working towards. It's taking the thing that you're working towards off the pedestal. You know when it's something we really want. Sometimes it's taking up a lot of brain space, a lot of mental bandwidth. We put it on a pedestal, and the thing I wanna say to you is you've got nothing to prove to yourself or anyone else by completing this thing. Let it be fun and enjoyable, light and easy, and remind yourself of that every day. This is something that you want to do. Keep it enjoyable to work towards. We've gotta let go of the pressure because pressure doesn't work. Particularly those of us who are more sensitively wired, it's not going to motivate us. It will only cause us to go into a freeze response. So to be consistent, to stay motivated towards something, we have to get on our own team, and we do this through self-compassion. So you notice yourself falling off the bandwagon rather than setting the bar so high for the next day or the next week to make up for it, which is not nervous system supportive. You choose the compassionate route. You say yourself, okay, today wasn't what I'd hoped it would be. Okay. This week wasn't what I'd hoped it would be. I see I'm procrastinating towards this thing that I really want. That's okay. I'm gonna choose to be kind to myself about this. Self-compassion will get you further than any amount of pressure it will. That's because our nervous system has so much of a say about our ability to follow through. It's impossible to take consistent forward action towards something. When you are in freeze mode, you literally can't. So self-compassion is how we support our nervous system back into a safe and supportive place. So when we choose to ease up on ourselves, when we come in beside ourselves with love and compassion and care, when we choose to speak kindly to ourselves. Okay. I'm not perfect. I don't have to be. Let's try again today. Let's start again. Let's reset. Let's make a new plan. Let's cut this in half. Let's make this easier. How can I make this more doable? Today? When you come in beside yourself, when compassion, you come from this supportive place, you're gonna feel your whole body. Take a giant exhale. It's gonna start to think, oh. I've got a teammate here, not a drill sergeant beating me up with a big stick, but a teammate that's supporting me to get to where I wanna be. That's nervous system, supportive. That's your nervous system. Shifting state back into a more regulated, safe place. And when this shift is made, you're gonna find those weights or those blocks are removed. And action becomes so much easier. So when you are doing new things, especially when you're doing things outside of your comfort zone, it's important to normalize that your nervous system will react. You will likely find yourself falling into freeze mode or flight mode where you race around and get anxious and busy. Dysregulated that becomes such a distraction or a roadblock to what it is that you want to be doing, and it's really our choice. How am I going to meet myself in these moments? Am I gonna use that big stick that I've always used to beat myself up and make myself feel really bad about that, and then set all this pressure on myself and these high expectations for the next day or the next week? Or will I choose to meet myself with compassion and care and understanding? Because consistency doesn't come from pressure and from that big stick, it comes from compassion. And lastly, I think value going low and slow. This is very counter-cultural. We don't see this talked about a lot, but there is value in going lower and slower. We all know that pattern of starting off with huge expectations of ourselves. We're gonna exercise every single day or five days a week for an hour, and we set this massive target. In this thing we wanna create or work towards. And I'm all for stretching ourselves, for aiming high, absolutely. But again, when we look at it through the nervous system, a lot of the time this level of expectation is actually creating pressure. It taxes our nervous system, and as we've talked about, it'll pull us into freeze mode. So look at these things you said you wanted to do this year and consider what it would look like to cut those things in half. Value doing the lesser amount. It may mean that it takes you longer to get to where you want to be, but the thing is you actually get there. You actually do it because you can stick with it because the way you are approaching it is so much more supportive and I think it's so important to look at and be realistic about the season of life that we are into. Particularly if you you are a mom, you know, with younger kids. I look at the time that I had before I had children, and it's really different to the time that I have now, and the ways that I would've approached change or the expectations that I could set or have of myself back then are different to what I can do now. And so we've gotta really be mindful of that when we are looking and scrolling at things on social media or looking at what other people are doing or the other. People are things that they're setting for themselves. It's really looking at that through the lens of, does that make sense for the season of life that I'm in? So some days you might have the energy to, let's use a exercise example, move your body for 40 minutes. But what about the days when your energy is low? When you're feeling tired, guess what? 10 minutes still counts. And I'm thinking about this as I head into a season of having another small baby and remembering that a workout for 10 minutes is still a workout and it's much better than doing nothing. So choosing that 10 minutes because that's all I've got time for, or all the energy I have for that day. The, just doing that 10 minutes is likely to lead to a lot of other positive habits or other positive choices later in the day if I do that rather than if I don't. So sometimes I can do a podcast and it's half an hour or more, and there's also value in just jumping on here and doing something quick like today and the time that I have that also counts. Think about these things. Think about the way that you've been approaching change and whether that's been working for you. If you've noticed those same old patterns show up for you when it comes to creating change, it's time to choose a new approach. So think about this through the lens of the nervous system. Think about easing up on yourself. Think about coming alongside yourself with care and compassion. Think about really the value in going lower and slower, cutting in half what you'd originally thought you were gonna do so that you actually can do it. And really seeing the value in doing the lesser amount, if it's just 10 minutes of something that still counts. And it's still worthwhile doing. So those are my secret strategies. These are the things I'm sharing in my sessions with clients. As we head into the new year and there's lots of discussion about change and new habits, if you would like support this year to consistently move towards the changes that you desire. I've opened up a small number of places in my new year. Reset package, and this is the final opportunity to work with me before I head away on maternity leave. Places are really limited. January has sold out, um, but there are a handful of places available for a February start and it would mean we'd work together for February and March. So this package is a way for us to journey together, really look at what matters for you this year, how you want your life to feel. And what needs to be in place to support you, not only in setting intentions, but in actually living them out. So you'll, you'll walk away from this program with a clear sense of direction, supportive habits and rhythms, and a personalized roadmap to guide you in the year ahead. So if you're interested, you can find all of the details and the PDF linked in the description of this episode. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me. Contact details out below as well. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend. As I said earlier, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast and go and have a look at some of the other episodes on the podcast feed and see what's there. There's a lot here that can support you as we move into the new year, and I look forward to connecting with you in another episode.